Chapter 17

Things get out of hand pretty quickly.

“Well, I guess you’d better come in,” said the man in red as he about-faced on his scooter. “You want anything? Coffee? Tea? I’ve probably got some soda in the fridge.”

I turned to look at Teravolt. The look on her face told me all I needed to know: that was Ranvier.

This wasn’t exactly what I had expected.

“We need to kill him now!” Teravolt said in harsh whisper. “This could be our only chance!”

“We can’t!” I whispered back. “If we take him down then we might never find Meteor!”

“He’s got his back turned and everything! I’ll help you find Meteor after I fry him!”

Ranvier scootered backwards around the corner, back into view. “Coming?” he asked.

I glanced at Teravolt, then turned the corner with Ranvier in the lead. With a quiet, frustrated noise, Teravolt followed.

“So I guess we’ve got some things to talk about,” Ranvier said. “It could get kinda awkward, but communication is the best tool that we have as humans, you dig?”

I tried to wrap my head around what was happening. This was not how I pictured Ranvier at all.

“Well, the two of us aren’t necessarily strictly human, but she is,” Ranvier chuckled. “Although I guess that’s arguable now.”

“What have you done with Meteor?” I ventured. It probably sounded a lot less bold than I intended it to.

Ranvier belly laughed and took another sip of his soda. “Meteor’s mine now, kiddo. It took a lot of time and effort to snag him, too, so don’t get any ideas about freeing him. Not that that’s possible anyway.”

“What did you do?” I asked, trying to make sense of the situation. “Why do you hate Meteor so much?”

“The crimson idiot and I go way back,” Ranvier responded. “Way, way back. Over the years, he’s spent pretty much all of his free time effing up my plans, and I used to be really hurt by that. I mean, I’m just trying to find my purpose in life, right? Then one day, I actually get caught when Meteor somehow beats me for the millionth time. So I spend the next couple of years being really, really angry.” He laughed for the third time. “I mean, whoo! They stopped giving me new cellmates after a while, in fact. But then, a breakthrough: I started getting therapy. The doctor and I spent a long time figuring out exactly what it was that made me do the things that I do, and why I had such a short fuse. Turns out that I just needed some coping mechanisms. You know, things to calm me down when I was riled up. My therapist used to tell me: ‘Roger, people can only hurt you if you give them permission to. If you don’t let them get to you, you’ll be invincible’. And I think those are some of the truest words that have ever been spoken. I mean, not literally, maybe, because during my escape I stabbed him in the jugular with a shiv made out of a plastic spoon, but in a spiritual sense. And I think that’s more meaningful in the end.”

I listened, mouth agape at the words coming out of Ranvier’s mouth.

“So why are you still angry at Meteor, then?” I asked.

“I’m not angry anymore,” Ranvier said. “I’m not hurt, even. But that sure as shootin’ doesn’t mean that I don’t still want revenge. It’s just that now my head is clear about it.” He tapped his temple with one finger. “Makes all this a lot easier. More fun, too.”

“So what is this?” I asked. “What’s with DeLuge and Teravolt trying to take a bite out of me, too?”

Ranvier inserted one finger into his ear and rubbed it around for a little bit. “I’ll be honest,” he said. “I’ve been trying to kill you for a long, long time, Jake. You’re a serious pain in my a*s, and probably the sole reason that I didn’t have Meteor in my clutches months ago. So I decided you had to die. I told the Syndicate to do it, I told DeLuge to do it, I told your girlfriend there to do it...I even tried to be sneaky and sent you relentless dreams in the hope that you’d go crazy and murder each other. That didn’t quite work out the way I wanted it to, as I’m sure you know. And by the way, while we’re on the subject, it’s pretty clear that both of you need to get laid in the worst possible way, because damn. And I do mean that. Come to think of it, I also told blondie there not to tell anyone about my hideout on pain of taking a long walk off of a short dock, but you know, it doesn’t really bother me because I’m pretty bored of you both.”

“You’re bored of us?” Teravolt cut in. “What does that even mean?”

“You’re boring!” Ranvier exclaimed. “You guys are so dull. I mean, I’ve got all these fancy little schemes in place about how I can manipulate people like the pawns that they are, and you two just refused to cooperate! So instead of watching you froth at the mouth and try to tear each other’s throats out, I had to watch night after night of x-rated bullhonkey just because neither of you has ridden anything other than the bus for who knows how long.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I say Teravolt go red. I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed myself. This guy had been poking around in both of our heads, examining all of our most secret places, and was now discussing it like you would a particularly uninteresting book. I felt violated, to say the least.

“If I wanted to watch porn, I’d get on the internet,” Ranvier said.

“Now where the hell do you get off-” Teravolt said heatedly, before Ranvier cut in.

“Ooh, we’re here!” He pointed a remote at the impenetrable-looking door that we had come to, and it swung open soundlessly. “I hope you kids are ready for a real treat.”

The room we stepped into was huge and round, easily big enough to hold a football field. We stood on a circular balcony overlooking a thirty foot deep pit set in the center of the room, in front of row after row of seats just like a stadium. To the right of us, way at the other end of the pit and above the rest of the seats, a gaudy throne sat in an alcove dug out of the wall. There was a cart next to it with a big metal box on top.

“Pretty kickass, eh?” Ranvier said. “I call it the blood bowl.”

“Is this…an arena?” I asked.

“It’s not an arena, it’s the arena,” Ranvier said with a laugh. “I can’t tell you how many sweet fights to the death I’ve overseen in this thing.”

I felt lost for words. This was more like the man I had read about.

“That’s monstrous,” I said.

Roger probed a molar with his tongue, making a clicking noise. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess it is.” He scootered away toward a pathway that led up to the throne. “Anyway, stay right there and I’ll show you something neat.”

Teravolt gripped me tightly around the bicep. “Jake, we have to get out of here.”

Deep down, I knew she was right, but I felt rooted to the spot. This was all too much. I knew how dangerous Ranvier was, but I had no idea he would be so outright weird, and I was still having trouble with the idea that such a depraved sociopath could actually exist. The way he was talking, it was like other people were just toys. And what about Meteor? How could I expect to find him in the labyrinthine halls of Ranvier’s lair without even a clue as to his whereabouts?

Valerie shook my arm. “Jake, we have to get out of here right now!”

While I was lost in thought, Ranvier had made it up to his throne, and he shouted something unintelligible down at us.

“What?” I shouted back.

He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled louder, but I still couldn’t hear what he had said. I saw him sigh and press a button on his throne.

“Check, check, one, two, three,” his voice boomed over the loudspeaker. “Can you hear me now?”

I nodded. Teravolt shook my arm again and I put my hand over hers. Following this through was the best chance I had at finding Meteor. I would just have to indulge Ranvier.

Suddenly, I felt something close around my neck, and I was lifted bodily off the ground. I grabbed onto what was lifting me and felt fingers on my throat. It seemed that someone had us both gripped tightly from the back.

“Remember, Knuckle is really strong,” Ranvier said. “Crushing a windpipe or two would be pretty easy for him. And by the way, I’m sure we all know that running electricity through muscle causes it to contract, right?”

Teravolt made a sound that was strangled by Knuckle’s grip.

“Okay big guy, you know what to do,” Ranvier said.

The grip around my neck tightened until it was impossible to breathe. I kicked wildly to try and get free, but I knew it was a useless endeavor. Spots began to swim in and out in front of my eyes and the edges of my vision started to go dark. I felt weaker and weaker as I lost the blood to my brain, and then out went the lights.

My hearing returned first, even before I remembered where I was. I heard footsteps and felt things touching me, and then there was pressure around my wrists and ankles. Gradually, my sight returned, and as the colors sharpened and the black faded away I saw Ranvier standing up from a crouch in front of me. I looked at him muzzily, still a little confused. He was whistling a little tune, and when he saw that I was awake he stood up.

“Have you come to gloat at us?” I asked blearily.

He laughed. “Plenty of time for that later, kiddo,” he said with a smile.

“You haven’t?” I was surprised. That was basic villainy 101. “You’re not even going to tell us your evil plan and then mock us for being completely at your mercy?”

He laughed like I had just told him a hilarious joke.

“Tell you my plan?” he said. “Why the hell would I do that? I’m not some kind of idiot.”

He reached out and ruffled my hair, and then about faced and left the room. I looked around, more confused than ever and trying to get my bearings.

I was in a small room made of the same white metal as the rest of the hideout. The room was empty save for big metal cuffs set into the walls at ankle height and rings attached to the ceiling. As I looked I saw Teravolt standing in the shape of an X against the opposite wall, her head slumped over one shoulder. Her back was against the wall, her ankles were set into the cuffs, and her wrists were bound with chains hanging from the ceiling rings. The chains were just short enough to make it so she couldn’t move her arms more than a few inches in any direction. I tested my limbs and found that I was bound in the same way.

“Valerie?” I said, trying to get her to wake up. “Valerie!”

She stirred, lifting her head slowly and blinking against the strong lighting.

“Jake?” said Teravolt.

“Yes?” I replied.

She strained against the chains and groaned when she found she couldn’t move. “You’re an idiot.”

I couldn’t disagree.

“I know,” I said.

“Well, hang on…” Teravolt said. She sounded taken aback.

“No, really,” I said. “I’m sorry I got you into this. Now both of us are probably going to die, and it’s all my fault.”

It was true. It was stupid of me to think that I could pull something like this off, even with help. I was no tactician, I wasn’t even a full superhero. I was fast, and that’s all. I was just a sidekick playing at being a hero.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Teravolt said. “To be honest...this is the most worthwhile thing that I’ve ever done. And if I have to die, then I’m glad it was trying to do something good, instead of selfish.”

She gave me a sad smile, and I gave her one back.

“Hey,” I said. “Do you think that we would have made a good team?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

“Me too,” I replied.

The door clanged open with a sharp noise, making both of us wince as the sound reverberated off the walls. In strode Streak, looking like a cat that has not only caught the canary but gotten the names and locations of its friends and family as well.

“Well, would you look at this,” she said. “Mr. smartypants finally got himself into some trouble that he couldn’t sass his way out of.”

“I should have figured you were working for someone,” I said. “You don’t strike me as the ‘organized’ type.”

Streak cocked her head to one side. “Laugh it up. I’m not the one who’s in shackles.”

“You’re making me wish I had a blindfold, too,” I said.

Streak stopped for a moment to clench her fists.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, relaxing. “Because you’re about to get the surprise of your life. And even if I don’t get to kill you myself, I’ll have front row seats to the whole thing. Maybe I’ll even get it on video so I can rewatch it later.” She traced one finger down from my chest to my stomach, stopping just above my belt to poke me hard in the gut.

I winced. “Whoa. Mind keeping your hands to yourself?”

Streak pouted mockingly. “What, you don’t like it when I touch you?” She placed her palm where her finger had been and let it slide slowly down toward my crotch. I felt chills run up my spine, and not in a good way.

“He said stop!” Teravolt shouted.

Streak looked over at her, surprised, then her lips parted in a wicked grin.

“Oh, I see how it is!” she said, looking back at me. “She likes you, doesn’t she? Well, let’s see how much she likes this.” She grabbed the sides of my face in her hands and jammed our lips together, shutting her eyes tight as she shoved her tongue into my mouth in an obscene kiss. “Mmm, mmm!” she moaned with exaggerated pleasure.

Across the room I saw Teravolt’s eyes go wide. Her hands clenched tightly as her body shook with rage. “Cut that out, you b***h!”

Streak took her tongue out of my mouth and bit my lower lip, hard, until I could taste blood. She held it between her teeth, stretching it out before letting go with a loud pop.

“Ugh,” I said weakly. “Ever heard of a breath mint?”

She leaned in close to my ear, her breath hot and wet on the side of my neck.

“It’s too bad you’re such a goody two-shoes,” she whispered. “We could have made a great team...and the sex would have been unbelievable.”

I legitimately retched, then twisted my face into a rictus of disgust. “You’re seriously going to make me throw up.”

My torso lit up with pain as Streak punched me in the stomach, and I fought down the furious urge to vomit.

Streak crossed over to Teravolt, closing in until their faces were close and she was just out of Teravolt’s reach. “Don’t worry baby, there’s plenty of me left for you, too. I picked up a taste for blondes in prison.” She licked her lips dramatically and mimed giving a kiss.

“Touch me and you’ll find out what fifteen hundred volts feels like,” Teravolt growled.

Streak laughed maliciously. “You’re fun; maybe we’ll make it a menage a trois. But for now, it’s time to go.”

“Go where?” I said.

“Wherever I tell you to, jackass,” Streak said. “And Knuckle and Faultline are standing right outside the door, so don’t try anything funny.”

She crossed to me and unlocked the cuffs on my ankles, and then the shackles on my wrists. My arms felt extremely heavy, and as soon as they were free of the shackles, my hands fell so fast that they crashed into my legs. I noticed that there were weighted bracelets around my wrists, and my ankles too.

“Those weigh about fifteen pounds each,” taunted Streak. “Just try using your speed now.” She went over to free Teravolt. I desperately wanted to knock her on her a*s, but it was all I could do to stand. It felt like I had been unconscious for a long time, and my limbs just didn’t have the strength.

“As for you,” Streak said to Teravolt. “You’ve been fitted with wristbands that will explode if they detect electricity. They won’t kill you, but I’m sure you’d like to keep your hands.”

“I’ll fry you for this,” Teravolt growled.

“Promises, promises,” Streak sneered. “Now get going before I have to get Knuckle in here.”

She marched us out of the room and down a long corridor, me struggling to walk with the extra weight on my ankles. True to her word, Knuckle and Faultline were leaning nonchalantly against the wall by the door, and they fell in behind us as we passed them.

This was seriously bad. I had no idea if it was true that Teravolt’s hands would get blown off if she used her powers, but I was certainly in no condition to use mine with all the extra weight on each limb. Fifteen pounds may not sound like a lot, but it saps your stamina a lot faster than you’d think, and there’s no way I could beat Streak being as tired as I was.

We were led to a big archway with a door made of white metal. There were muffled noises coming from the other side, like a big commotion was going on. Streak punched in a code on a keypad by the side of it and it slid upward with a hiss.

My attention was immediately drawn to a pair of men in gray bellhop uniforms carrying a stretcher between them. On the stretcher lay a man in a bright pink and yellow costume. He wasn’t moving.

Before I had time to analyze the situation further, there was a sharp shove between my shoulder blades that pushed me through the door, and then Teravolt and I found ourselves standing in the arena.

Author's Note

Are you not entertained?