In the mountains lies a remote cabin made from the trees that cover this land and no ordinary people live this way anymore, all but a handful to this day. The wilderness out here is unforgiving at times and the weather changes in a blink of an eye , Its cold and damp no matter what time of the year it is and you can feel this all the way down to your bones when you go to sleep at night. These mountains here are no place for amateurs looking for a weekend getaway. So by chance if your ever caught out here in the harsh elements and your supplies are about to run dry, you better start thinking about your next meal that means shedding some blood that means kill. Anything goes that has legs or wings even those creepy crawly things that you step on with your own two feet, if not you just might be the mountains next victim for the scavengers to feast. The mountains are beautiful at a distance but deadly up close if you come unprepared. Now only a few can live off the land and provide for their family what mother nature offers them. Mountain Men if you prefer keepers of the old frontier........
You've got a good beginning idea here. I like the thoughts you've shared so far about living in the mountains, but this could be taken further with more imaginative description. For example, you only TELL about killing for your next meal, whereas good writing always SHOWS us this actually happening. Each sentence of your little vignette could be expanded into a paragraph of details about how this actually LOOKS, FEELS, SMELLS, SOUNDS, etc. Your message-with-a-lesson feels like the skeleton of a good story & I look forward to you taking the plunge to flesh out these little flash-in-the-pan stories.
You've got a good beginning idea here. I like the thoughts you've shared so far about living in the mountains, but this could be taken further with more imaginative description. For example, you only TELL about killing for your next meal, whereas good writing always SHOWS us this actually happening. Each sentence of your little vignette could be expanded into a paragraph of details about how this actually LOOKS, FEELS, SMELLS, SOUNDS, etc. Your message-with-a-lesson feels like the skeleton of a good story & I look forward to you taking the plunge to flesh out these little flash-in-the-pan stories.