Survivor Story #5

(Submitted January 21, 2019)

My parents got when i was young, immediately my dad got back into a relationship and i don't think she every gave him the time of day. I only say him on holidays and the summer, so it wasn't around the clock, but there are three exact times that I remember vividly instead of just some images. The first time i remember was when i was 6, everyone was going to Church and my dad wasn't religious so he never went but this time he said i had to stay home cause i had to clean the whole house because "i was being a terrible child". Of course I stayed because i was too hyper for 2 hours of sitting. After about 10 mins of the family leaving, he made me clean his room. I didn't wanna do this but hesitantly went in. As soon as i entered i knew something was wrong, he told me to take off my clothing piece by piece. I turned away from him and started, he got mad about this and slapped me and turned me around, he took pictures and touched me in ways that shouldn't happen. He said that its "our game" and that I can't tell anyone otherwise he will hurt me. He didn't do anything after that for the rest of my visit. The next time i remember was when i was around 9, i slept in my sisters room, who is the same age as me. The night before, he told me i had to sleep in the living room. I knew something was up because he only made me sleep there when he wanted to play our game. That night he showed me his privates and made me touch him. That's all i can talk about cause it was the most painful. The third time was when i was 11 during the summer before fathers day, coincidentally the day before my birthday. The night he came into my room, that i shared with my sister and raped me, my sister was less than 10 feet away and its like he didn't care if she saw or not, it made me feel like he does the same thing to her now. That night was the first that he full on did that and i cried for hours straight, that morning my my step mom who had got with right after my mom, came into my room yelled at me to go say Happy Fathers Day Daddy. I got belittled throughout my stay there and no longer got to stay in my bed after 5am. On February 1st, 2013 my grandfather tried to do things and i stopped him because i finally understood what happened and that its wrong, we went to trial against my grandfather and he got ten years with parole. That summer i told my mom everything, she cried for three day straight, we tried to get my dad arrested but we had no evidence, nothing to prove. I tried three times to get a protection order against him and failed all 3. To this day I can't talk about it because i just want attention or i dont care how others are affected by it. I constantly have daymares and panic attacks and am borderline suicidal but I know it makes me stronger in the end.

-Marie Green