aware

dark/rhymes

they came in wearing masks

one by one, handing their flasks

open the virgin to drink her insides

slowly slowly her screams start to rise

call the children, its time to feast

im too bored to hand them a piece

let them pick in her bits and bites

and ill watch as her soul flights

ignore her pleads she signed the paper

upon awareness her mouth is stapled

dig in her guts and dare to go deep

tell her conscious its time to sleep

opening 3rd eyes without a price?

forget it, you're all just lab mice!

Reviews

[MantaStyle]

it's a decent description of events but without context or how causal it is in talking about death that it makes it more "edgy" than dark. The gore seems a bit too forced as there is a lack of gore description for such a morbid act. I didn't really feel grossed out nor did it make me shiver. It lacks a bit of impact due to the speaker being the killer dictating the murder of the girl without really telling what they are doing as "drinking" is too vague and leaves way too much to the imagination that it becomes passive.

[SANDS]

check out my other ones would love to hear your comments and adjustments