I dont want to see

As a freshman smoking pot

when even your tears are hundred percent non-alcoholic

Or first time in that community bath

with three other girls,

the uncensored touching and giggling

 

Or when your roommate

teaches you how to apply that comon hostel vibrator

which almost every newbie uses

 

And then finally that first night in someone else's bed

the nostalgia and those brief periods of self pity that follow

 

Some say you experience to learn

and when things lose their tendency to shock us

means we have retrieved that third eye

seen it,broadened our exposure  etc etc

 

However noone bothers

whether you wanted to see it all,

noone asks if you really are enthusiastic

about the fact that you have lost your sense of wonderment. 

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

You describe scenes alien to me... such a sense of individualism here in the US; you would never find girls sharing such intimacies. A pity that- we could use each other as teachers, I think. I do not think one such as you can ever lose that sense of wonderment. Some things are writ in our DNA. We just get really good at masking it. I hope you stay open-eyed to posisbility, dear friend.

[J]

..but opening your eyes is when you experience wonderment.

Hello.
Is what I meant to say.

[Emily]

It is so true, the loss of wonderment is akin to the loss of the innocence of youth.

Well done, i really love that the phrasing is a bit vague, and the way you've managed to tie it all together is lovely!

[paul]

wonderment is the first sense to go. fantastic write !!

[Siddhartha]

And what of wonderment..say what of him...he's lost in our daily whims...
bittersweet and cathartic.confessional and soliloquish...
lays threadbare the pain of the human heart trapped inside the human body...

[emmajoy]

You laid it out in simple words and deep meanings. In part I felt just a little like a voyeur but at least in the knowledge that what you see, you share.

There are moments here of being in a race to put down thoughts, a keeping up or losing place.. but from start to finish I felt as tho I was learning how to feel, feeling what is about toucing life in its fullness. You're right,in some ways we lose so much in acquiring knowledge and consquently, yesssss .. losing wonderment

[Ms. Gruye]

this piece is confessional in style and bittersweet in tone. That's a pretty savvy combination that I enjoyed. I do think it a little jarring how the tone shifts in the middle from confessional glimpses into your narrator into a more philosophical meandering in the last two stanzas.

I feel if they were reversed it might be more impact, i.e: let me display a philosophical pondering, then let me back it up with some real life s**t that will make you feel the impact of my statements above. What thinks you>>>>

[Jibey]

Beautifully observed... touching in its expose of the progress from innocence to experience, with that sense of disappointment that, after all, she shine on the display has dimmed a little... So often, anticipation is all... But there are some people and situations that never cease to amaze...some thoughts that always stir

[Robin]

you never cease to amaze me with your poetry of wonderment , your words always unafraid to reveal what lays within us all .

[abhas]

all i could sense is you have a potential to make it big... your words are so expressive... so intense... and the reflections are something i personally havent found or felt anywhere else... God bless you...