Saturnalia

Saturday,

sunset leaves a saturnine taste

on our lips

till Orgiophant steals in,on his storch

spraying something,

Phermones,i think.

Your pink slippered half sister

shuffles through the dash-board

looking for another vomit bag

and the back seat expands

while your hand keeps spinning

of its own volition

like it does with the paint brush

when you dont know what you are making

and the canvas resembles

Rumpletskin-red HIV living under your skin.

I'm crazy and you are poetic,baby

and we both are contagious.

Your hand keeps spinning

like it has a mind of its own

stirring up images in my head

of gaping  bird mouths,

of dead silver fish,

of Ma's swollen belly,

of Nanny's scurvyed lips,

of Levantine furniture

and of the world dying beneath my feet.

  

Author's Note

i dont like this one..it needs help..

Reviews

[.]

. i like it ... i like how you beautifully decode inspiration ...

I'm crazy and you are poetic,baby
and we both are contagious.
Your hand keeps spinning
like it has a mind of its own
stirring up images in my head

. the rest is about to personal preferences and word choices ... for me, this is enough ... and as if it isn't you even give me ...

and of the world dying beneath my feet.

. stark is what i'd say this piece of poetry is ... and remarkably so as you tune into the world at a moment in time ... there's a universe of meaning here is what i'm trying to say ...

hum jis zameen ko zameen maan kar baithe hain
vo zameen kahaan, vo toh jahannum ka darvaaza hai

[Emily B]

I think the voice is the thing. I am drawn in. I don't consider words and meanings. I follow the voice. It is good work even if you don't like it very much right now.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Your writes are mostly dark..and when i think of it..this melancholy,this darkness it is so very spontaneous in your words that it seems it is entwined with tenderness of your soul.

[paul]

i like this one. it's helpful

[Robin]

a surreal whirlwind , it must be love

[Linear]

Saturnalia! I thought when i saw the title it was to be about just that, after all it's about where christendom got christmas from.

[Jibey]

A bit if straightening out and we have one of those surreal kind of writings that captures some of the sickening aspects of human decadence... Like looking i90nto a pool of vomit

[Marie Anzalone]

check your grammar, spelling, and word usage... lots of mistakes and things that do not make sense. For example, no such thing as "phormones". The word is "pheromones" and has a very specific meaning. This could be good witha little research and some guidance to the reader. Do your homework and come back to it.