They say,
the day a women is born in my tribe,
Hyades mourn a sister's fate,
and a cry,
a piercing cry echoing through winds,
''AL,...,AL''
As Apollo kneels on his beloved's grave,in the splendour of a God,
Another Hyacinthus slain,
the zephyrs groan in harmony,
a thousand flowers bloom,
Hyacinth,the flower of love,the flower of sorrow,
the flower of death,the flower of partition,
Every purple petal a quivering tear,
the crimson,Apollo's blood,
women my tribe,they say,must never love,
Ishaq poisons them,
white dove of death shackles them into chains of blooming blue bells,
as they burn to ashes willingly on the stake of passion,
women my tribe blossom in love,
eyes turning to dark oceans,
lips Aphrodisiac red,
gliding like a Shakuntala talking to deer ,
from hair lingering fragrance of hina,
and then, as the sad golden boat of moon takes to shore,
on a night,when airs smell of cardamom,
the cups of roses fill with wines of tears,
tears of the daughters of Atlas,the stars alighting from skies,
a Sassi wails in the deserts of Sindh,
a Heer in her wajdaan,chants,
'' Ranjha Ranjha kardi mein aapay Ranjha hoo gai'',
as a smiling dark Venus unveils,
conch shells sounding in distance,
another AL,...,AL,
she in her twilight sleep walks to unknown,
some say we are cursed others say we are blessed,
some that our love is apostasy others call it ebadat,an intense worship,
gazing into your eyes
I wonder,
when would Hyades come for me,
a serrated knife cuts through me
i feel as an Oedipus blinded by fate,
a distant AL,...,AL
A Hyacinth blooms,
every purple petal a quivering tear.
This is a sad and thought provoking write. The repeated cry ties it together well. There are only a couple small grammatical errors I noticed and they are both foud near the middle within the following lines:
women my tribe blossom in love, (this would flow better if you add "OF" between 'women' and 'my'
their eyes turning to dark oceans,
lips Aphrodisiac red,
gliding like a Shakuntala talking to deers, (in English, we do not add an 's' to deer. The word "DEER" is used for both sigular and plural...for one or many deer).
Other than that, this is a very interesting look into the legends of love from a different perspective. Thanks for sharing this with me.
An epic... wonderfully written sahar... it is so intense... i struggled to fathom this one... had to read again n again... u make me sit up n ponder... my fav...
. truly epic ... as one of the earlier reviewers says ... amazingly profound and inspiring and magical ... absolutely love all the references ... and the sheer love with which this has been written ... (do let me know when your edits are done, this is a great choice for the second anthology, well done with poem selection, sahar) ...
oh oh sahar this is astoundingly lovely...you are so young and yet so gifted...your art speaks volumes of you as a person...so much of depth in your writing sahar...your writes are both very sharp,striking and yet weeping gently like a woman's heart is....
i understand how a woman in the conservative communities is still condemned for loving where as love is what liberates and teaches....yet she can not love just for the fear of some petty rules which have been put down for ages by humans only....when love is the foundation of our very own existence rhen why should it be a bane to us...
I was drawn into the story of this work. The telling is very good, I am certain when it comes to translating from one language to another there is something that becomes lost, but you did a great job with it!!
I really appreciate that you kept certain words, and then gave the meaning or explaination at the end, that adds much to the overall affect.
-kelli
I loved the lyrical flow of this and the weaving of the legend into the emotional cry of a woman's heart. The imagery of the hyacinth and the fragrant aromas adds a heavy layer to the sad complaint... Beautiful in its tears
The Hanging Man
By the roots of my hair some god got hold of me.
I sizzled in his blue volts like a desert prophet.
The nights snapped out of the sight like a lizard's eyelid:
The wor.. more..