Aren't I Awkward?

A personal narrative I wrote for Creative Writing

          "You like Devin?!?" Carlee exclaimed.

          "Yes," I answered, "Now why don't you way it a little louder. I don't think the bus driver heard"

          "Sorry," she whispered "I thought you were in love with Michael?"

          "I thought I was too" I replied, looking down.

          There was silence for a while. Neither one of us knew what to say. The bus stopped at the school and everyone filed off. I stepped out of the bus and Carlee was waiting for me. It was pretty warm out. All the people walking past were smiling and wearing shorts. I wasn't really warm enought to wear shorts but everyone was too excited about the warmer weather to care.

          "Well, are you going to buy him a fish sandwich?" She asked

          "Am I what?" I asked

          "Are you going to ask him out?" She sighed "You really need to get on Urban Dictionary more often"

          "Oh. Well...I don't know," I replied.

          We walked into the shool and I was more confused then I was before I talked to Carlee. Talking to Carlee was supposed to help. I had no idea what to do. I really didn't want to think about it. I wanted to just forget about it. I couldn't though. The thought kept popping up in my mind. What would it be like to date Devin? The thought made me smile.

          My friends were already waiting for us at Carlee and I's locker. I could hear Devin laughing and my heart skipped a beat. I had never been this smitten before. I pushed my way through the crowd of people with my head down, hoping no one would notice that I was blushing. We all just stood around and talked like we did every morning. Devin left for JROTC and Carlee chuckled when she saw my face flush after Devin smiled at me. I had it bad for this kid.

          When the bell rang we left for class and went about our day. It was just like every other day. Trying to stay awake in Mr. Bragg's class, trying to stay focused in all my other classes. By third hour, after much prodding from Carlee, I had decided that I was going to ask Devin out. I just needed to know how.

          "Face to face, definitely" Carlee told me as we walked to choir.

          "I was afraid you were going to say that," I replied.

          I knew I had to do it. There was no getting around it. We weren't in middle school anymore, a note wouldn't cut it. Too bad I'm much better at writing than talking.

          At lunch I told Devin that I needed to ask him something after school, and my nerves doubled. There was no getting out of it now. Fifth hour was like some sort of weird time warp. Time was going by so slowly, yet at the same time it was flying by. I was beginning to think I had gone crazy when I realized I had overlooked one huge detail: Iris.

          She was one of my best friends, and in all of the excitement I have totally forgotten that two weeks earlier she had been dating Devin. As this realization hit me, so did nausea. How had I overlooked that? The entire time they were dating I was silently miserable, trying not to ruin things for them. I had to ask her if it was ok. How was I supposed to do that?

          I decided to revert back to middle school tactics. I wrote her a note. In retrospect, it was not my proudest moment. It was probably the most straight forward I've ever been in my life. It simply said "Is it ok if I ask Devin out?"

          I passed her the note, hoping she wouldn't be upset. The minute she opened the note the kid in front of her stole it, and without thinking, I screamed. The teacher glared at us and put her hand out. My face turned bright red. The kid handed her the note and we sat quietly for a while. Then Iris walked over to me.

          "It's ok," She said "I don't mind,"

          "Thanks," I smiled.

          So there it was. This was going to happen. All I could do was hope he'd say yes.

          When the bell rang, I bulleted out of the class. I went straight to my locker and put all my stuff away. I was staying after school, so I didn't have to pack my stuff up. When I was done, Carlee moved forward to get into our locker and smiled at me.

          "You'll be fine" she assured me.

          There were people everywhere. Backpacks were scattered on the floor and people were screaming across the hall at each other. I looked back and saw Devin waiting for me. I wondered how long he had been waiting there. Carlee made an odd face as I walked towards him; a face that I later found out totally tipped off Devin as to what I was going to ask him.

          As we walked down the hallway, I rambled on about who knows what, and making myself sound like a complete idiot. My hope was to calm myself down. I had no such luck.

          "So, you were going to ask me something?" He asked as we neared the door.

          "Uh" I mumbled "Uh, yeah. Uh, will you go out with me?"

          "Um" He paused. I thought I was going to die "Sure"

          Believe it or not, that ridiculously uncertain answer changed my life.

Reviews

[Kyle Thomson]

DWAAAAWHHHHH! :P Good write, a good write indeed.