An Old Man's War.

I'm tired,

I killed a person, did you know that?

Thanks to me he'll never hurt anyone,

The only thing I'm thankful for is that I was raised right enough to know which side was the good side,

A priest once said everything that happens was because God made it happen,

It was for a reason,

If that was true I'd ring his neck,

I'd sell my soul just to know that reason, and just like every soldier around me I'd probably have a good laugh at it,

Our minds isn't right, but that's okay as long as the world leaders can still have use of us,

They say when in war it's a black and white statement,

This is what happens and you can't change nothing about,

I guess that true, but I can't fully be sure since I have trouble remembering,

One minute I'm in the "prestigious" battle zone,

Then I'm in my bunker looking down at my feet,

I'm in my thoughts and after I "page" through them I instantly forget them,

It takes a while to feel the pain,

I don't feel alive, it felt like its been eons since I was a recruit with adrenaline pumping through me,

Thats dried up and sadly I'm thinking so has my blood,

I vaguely remember a couple days back when one of my mates joked that I was too old for this,

Not many soldiers joke, but only the new ones or what we call the "live" ones,

Later that night when everyone was asleep I found a jagged mirror and saw the gray streaks on my hair,

I stared at it....

I thought I was 23.

They say youth was a huge help, but once I joined the the "Praised Revolutionary army" they broke me down and I felt my body go numb,

Without realizing it my body was acting as another disposable machinery,       

I was done in and everyone knew it,

I look down and saw my luggage and found I was in a train station,

How I got here is a mystery, but I'm used to it,

I'm just a mindless soul coming back from hell.