Chapter 2: Hunter and the hunted

The killer once again, out smarts the detectives.

Her dirty fingers grabbed the black grimy quilt as she let out a cough. Her can was half full with pennies, there wasn’t even enough to buy herself a happy meal from McDonalds. I watched from the corner of a wall, a block away from her. The streets were quiet. The clock on the pillar opposite the cafe read half past one; the timing couldn’t be more perfect.

 I causally walked from my residing hiding place and out onto the street. She doesn’t know I’m coming. She doesn’t suspect a thing, poor girl. She looked up at the noise of my footsteps and smiled with her broadened lips, and bared her yellow teeth in excitement.

“Mr, can I please have some change for my supper?” She begged as she shook her can of coins. It rattled throughout the street in a deafening jingle. I raised my dark hat up to allow full view of my face. The young girl smiled and looked at me in surprise.

  “It’s you!” she announced excitedly, she stood up to shake my hand. I held out my hand reluctantly to shake hers. “What are you doing out here so late?” She asked “Usually it’s the drunk and stupid who are out at silly o’clock.” She giggled as she looked at me with her big coffee mug eyes in hope.

“I was just taking a walk, I don’t sleep much. You were wanting some supper you say?” I boldly asked with a grin on my face. I opened up my jacket pocket and got out my cigarettes. The cold wind quickly came chasing after me with a howl, while I struggled and fumbled with the lighter to light one up.

“Yes, I’m starving! I haven’t eaten since six yesterday.” She wined as she watched me smoke.

“That’s cool, there’s a fish n chip shop not too far from here, how about some chips?” I asked knowing what her answer would be.

“Oh yes please!” She squealed, jumping up and down like she was on a trampoline. Her clothes looked more ripped up and torn than yesterday. There was a bruise on the left side of her face. Poor girl, it’s nothing compared to what I’m going to do to you I thought. 

“Great, c’mon lets get a move on before it closes.” I replied as I held out my arm for her to wrap around it, leading her into a false sense of security. I grinned at the thought of what the next headlines were going to be as we headed down the street.

We got to the fish n chip shop just after two o’clock. The smell of the food and this vile creature hanging onto my arm made me gag.  “Two portions of chips please.” I croaked out at the man behind the counter. His eyes kept darting at the smell that was standing next to me. He quickly took the money I had in my hand and darted away from the stench to his till, and through the back. He quickly came back and scooped chips into two newspaper cones.

“Thank you!” the girl exclaimed as I passed over her portion. The man behind the counter waved and smiled weakly as he turned around to drink from a can of coke. We walked to a bench just next to the fish n chip shop and sat down to eat. I watched in disbelief as she hungrily devoured the whole portion in a matter of two minutes. My eyes and mouth gawking at her as she loudly chewed the last handful she stuffed into her smelly, black tunnel of a mouth.

She looked at me and laughed as she threw her newspaper cone into the bin next to us. “Are you not hungry?” she asked as she stared at my portion of chips like it was a mouth watering steak. I placed them gently into her lap.

“You can have them, I’m not that hungry.” I looked on as she began to destroy the portion at the very last word uttered from my sentence. She quickly polished up and sucked each tip of her fingers before rolling the newspaper into a ball and throwing it into the bin.  

“Bullseye!” She cried, as she jumped into the air with her arms above her head waving her hands in triumph. She turned and smiled at me. “Thank you again so much! I don’t know how I can ever repay you, but I’ll think of something.” She stated as she began to walk back to the cafe.

“Do you need a place to stay?” I asked while she kept walking. She turned around again and smiled, her brown hair began to flow wildly in the wind, whipping the back of her brown, baggy rainproof jacket.  “I don’t want to trouble you sir.” She kindly replied as her hands wrapped around each other, her shivering began to move from her jaw to her legs.

“It’s no trouble at all, just follow me.” I requested as I extended my arm out again for her to hold on to. We walked past the fish n chip shop and past several liquor stores and tool shops, before we reached an alley next to a brightly lit supermarket.

“I just live in here.” I said softly as I lead her into the dark, gritty, slimy and pest infested alley. She looked at me with uncertainty.

“How much further do we have to walk? She questioned with her sweet, angelic voice. The rats squeaked wildly as we began to go down a set of narrow steps.

“It’s just through this door, sweetheart.” I reassured her as I moved the wooden frame off of the entrance to my home away from home. I clicked on a light switch and headed through the hallway with her. I took her into my living room and sat her down.

“The bathroom is just to the right of this room, you can have a bath in there if you’d like. The spare room is just to the left of it. My room is just through here.” I pointed a finger towards the dark room in the corner of the living room.

I went through to open the cupboard in the dimly lit hall, and came back into the living room with two large towels. “Here are a couple of towels for you to dry yourself with. Just make yourself at home.” I smiled at her while she took the towels and stood up; she smiled at me and shook my hand.

“Thanks so much, I’ll just go in and run the water.” She spoke softly as she left the room. I switched on the small TV in the corner of the dusty old room; the place was older than Father Christmas. I quickly went into the kitchen and prepared.

  I yanked the bottom drawer of the kitchen worktop as far as it would go, and pulled out a metal box. I slammed the drawer shut again, and threw the box onto the small wooden table in the centre of the room. I opened it up and looked at the shiny knives and tools with a wicked smile, so sinister it even frightened me when I looked at the reflection on the blade I picked up.

I sneaked across the room and into the hall. I peeked through the crack in the door at the young girl. She sat by the bath watching it fill up. She then switched it off and began to undress. Her milky soft skin was beautifully in contrast to her grimy hands, feet, neck and face. As she turned around I sneakily opened the door with no noise and grabbed her naked body with one arm, my hand wrapped around her breast as I covered her mouth with the other.

She let out a shriek, almost like the sound of a wailing puppy. I slowly moved the knife up close along her body. Her beauty reflected into my blade; I had to stare for one moment longer. I whispered into her ear. “You don’t deserve to live off of others” I rasped as I tossed the blade into my hand that was holding her neck. I could see her dirty neck pulsating, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

“P. . . P . . . Pleaaase! Don’t kill me!” She begged. I laughed at her words as I turned her around and picked her up. I propped her onto the side of the bath and kneeled down next to her. She began to shake with fear while I spoke.

“You are the most beautiful young lady I’ve ever seen. It’ll be a shame to do this to someone so pretty.” I took my blade and stuck it straight into her neck. The blood splattered all over the walls, the mirror and onto my clothes. She let out a choking sound as she grabbed onto her neck and fell to the floor in pain. I then stood her up and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry beautiful girl; the world has no place for you.” I whispered as I kissed her on the cheek. She tried to release my grip and make a dash for the door, but I’m too strong for her.

I picked her up and threw her into the bathtub. A splash of water and blood flew up into the air from the tub like the water from a water fountain. I held her down by her head as she squirmed to break free. After a few minutes her body was lifeless. I put her clothes and her body into a big, black bin bag before stealing the ring from her finger as a reminder of who she was.

I went outside and threw her into the boot of my ford fiesta, and drove off into the night until I reached a park. I pulled up and threw the black bag into the bushes along with another perfectly crafted letter. 

The police will never be able to catch me. I roared with laughter as I got back into my car and drove off into the blackness. Back to the hideout to clean up the mess I’ve made.

 

                   *  *  *  *  *  *

I parked the car opposite the Combat Comforts and co building; it was a small clothing and equipment store. Phil and I walked in from the damp, paved street passing a homeless guy on the street corner who asked me for change. I emptied my pockets and gave him a nod. He jumped up in static pleasure and waved thank you before Phil and I entered the shop. I felt sorry for them, and hoped that he wasn’t going to be the killer’s next victim.

The shop was hot and stuffy. I looked above the front counter and shop door at the CCTV cameras and pondered. Phil walked to the desk and introduced us.

“We’re detectives Phil Baxter and Stewart Brown. We’re with the metropolitan police. Could you answer a few questions for us please?” Phil asked sternly as we showed our badges.

“Yes, I have time for that. I’m not in any trouble am I, officers? What could I help you with?” The short, bald man questioned nervously as he adjusted his glasses onto the bridge of his sweating nose. 

“No, no you’re not in any trouble at all. We’re conducting a homicide investigation and it’s believed that the guy we’re after may have came into you’re shop not so long ago. He was purchasing a pair of grey gloves. We have a bag of fibres matching one of your pairs of gloves with us, if that helps.” I suggested holding up the evidence bag and placing it in front of him.

The bald, perspirating shop keeper held it up into the light and examined the fibres. He then placed them back down onto the countertop and took out a book from underneath the counter.

“Here are all the records I keep of all purchases. I keep a note of them in here, as well as store them onto the computer.” I’ll go and find the gloves that match the colour of the threads.” He dashed out from behind his counter and through a room in the back.

Phil wandered around the shop looking at all the items. Tents, tools, waterproofs and heavy duty back packs. The perfect arsenal for anyone who’d want to kill. The bald old man came back with a pair of gloves and placed them on the countertop.

“These are the gloves, I believe.” The shop keeper announced while sliding them closer to me. I looked at the gloves and the thin grey strands in the evidence bag.

“They look like a match, anyways. Do you know what date the gloves were purchased on?” The bald man pushed up his oval glasses and squinted at the dusty, red book and ran his finger along the names and dates. He tapped his finger on one of the dates and smiled.  

 “There you are, September 11^th the guy’s name he said, was John McDonald.” The shop keeper spoke with a smug tone. Phil got out his notepad and began to write down the details.

“Do you have CCTV tapes of the guy coming out and leaving?” I pointed to the cameras at the door of the shop and watched the shop keeper’s riveting response.

“Ah, well, I do have the tapes in the old box over here.” The old man flinched as the sweat dripped down from his brow to the tip of his pointed nose. He took out the large, dusty cardboard box and placed it onto the counter. He rummaged through it to find a tape labelled September 11^th and handed it to me.

“Thanks for your cooperation. You’ve been a real help to our investigation, sir.” I nodded as Phil and I walked out the door with the evidence. We were another step closer to finding this madman.

As we got back to our car, the radio sounded. “Calling car 23, this is Detective chief superintendant Slater. There’s been another murder, this time it’s a homeless woman. She was found naked in a black bin bag in the bushes of Regents Park. Get down here as soon as you can, over.” Phil Grabbed the radio piece and replied back to the superintendants call.

“Roger that boss, we’re heading over there now, over!” Phil slammed the receiver down and jumped into the passenger’s side. I hopped into the driver’s side and turned on the ignition faster than ever before. Phil clicked the switch for the siren and off we went, our siren echoing across the streets of London to Regents Park.

My thoughts raced a million miles an hour, but only one saddening thought was at the forefront. Once again, we were too late to catch him.

   

Author's Note

Please point out any, if any improvements or editing needs to be made. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Brenden Taylor]

Well, I have to say that this is pretty promising. Not where it should be, but definitely promising. And I'm not even I a fan of murder mysteries, but this has me hooked so far.

Good notes first:
1. You've got the minor descriptions spot on.

2. I dig the stream-of-consciousness flow at some points.

3. I definitely love the idea of seeing both sides of the murder - that is, the crime itself, and the speculation and investigation of it. Very Hitchcockian, and very cool.

Things that need work:
1. Character development. The killer and the cops both seemed dry and lacking flavor. The only characters I grew to like were the auxilary ones (the homeless woman and the shopkeeper). That was because you described their actions (the woman eating the chips and the shopkeeper pushing his glasses up) in detail, where as the cops and the killer moved in and out with no action (at least nothing memorable). This is one that you'll need to go over.

2. Proofread, proofread, proofread! There weren't many mistakes, to be honest, but there were a select few. In paragraph 37, there's a misplaced quotation mark, and in paragraph 15, whenever a different person speaks, a new paragraph is needed. Those are the ones that got me because I consider them pet peeves. A hint on proofreading: print out the piece and then reread it on the paper itself. You're much more likely to catch the small stuff like that then rereading it on a computer screen.

That's all for now, and I look forward to more.

Peace,
Brenden

[NearingNigh]

Woah! Snap! That escalated quickly. Love the way you split the perspectives; one from the killer and one from the cops. Keep it up. Do check out my works too.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Crazy stuff. I like it.

[Ace D Portgas]

It took awhile but i finally got around to reading it

Since I'm a fan of murder/mysteries I was already hooked lol

While reading I was thinking how nice this man is...Then I read further and my opinion of him turned into a 180...I feel so bad for the girl...After she was so happy to get the fish and chips she had to go

I loved how you told it from both sides of the story. That makes it really interesting. It was also very VERY descriptive and you could paint a picture with your words. Thats something that you need in mystery novels, not to mention it had that same feel as a detective story

Overall this was pretty damn good and would love to read some more of it

[PyroKitty24]

The main problem I have is that this is labeled chapter two, but is posted as a stand alone story. You might want to combine all of the chapters into a book. It not only makes it easier to keep things straight for yourself, but it makes it much easier on the readers to find things, check for updates, and go back to look at an earlier chapter. Especially if one was read requested a second chapter without having read the first.

[Dearantlers]

Wow, scary, but amazing. This got me very very hooked. Way good job!

[cariz]

It has good plot the story be better if we had detailed discription of the cops otherwise there is no point of having them in this story as it struggle for readers get their head around the story as you giving them main character role in stories and gave the homeless woman more detail who isnt really main character as such . Over all its going be good story just need improve on your characters more .

[AndyJCash]

It was an intriguing piece, but I couldn't find myself believing the second part of the piece, only because sadly the police wouldn't be terribly interested in the murder of a homeless person, at least not from other books of similar subjects I've read.
The plot in the first part was a bit predictable, but I guess there's nothing that can be done about that: once you see someone helping a homeless person it's natural to expect the worst.
Despite this, I enjoyed the first half of the piece. It was interesting and quite sick in the mind of the killer!