Camp nightmare

Two brothers go for a camping trip. They're suprised at what they find.

Harry’s heart was beating as fast as a bongo drum. His hand tightened up around the torch as he looked around the dark room to find out what the banging noise was in his wardrobe. Bang, Bang, bang. The wardrobe sounded as he tip toed closer to its large, and cracked wooden door. The sweat began to drip down from Harry’s forehead as he reached up to grab the handle.  His heart was now almost jumping out from his chest and onto the floor when he saw the wardrobe shuffle from left to right. Bang! Bang! The thumps got louder, so did Harry’s heart beat. He slowly turned the knob of the door and began to open the wardrobe, the light from the torch moved from left to right as his hand frantically, and violently shook with fear. 

In the darkness he couldn’t see anything when he opened the door. All he saw was the pile of clothes in the centre of the wardrobe. He shone the torch onto the pile of clothes and poked at them using his index finger. Harry’s heavy breathing kept him from crying out with fear.

“BOO!” Martin jumped out of the pile of clothes, and in front of Harry with his noisy toy gun blaring throughout the room.

“AHHH!” Harry screamed with fright and dropped the torch on the floor. “Martin, you little snot! I nearly had a heart attack!”

 Harry roared angrily as he began to chase little brown haired, blue eyed Monster around the room. Harry glanced at the clock by his bed and looked at Martin in a blind rage. “Its half past two in the morning, you little runt! We get up at seven to leave and go camping!” If you want to go with me you better get in your pit, now! Or you won’t be going at all!” Harry screamed at Martin and chased him into his room.

“You should’ve seen your face!” Martin howled with laughter as he ran along the hall into his room. Harry followed Martin with heavy footsteps and a growl in his voice.

“Stop the jokes and get into bed, before I kick your little butt!” Harry raised his fist shaking it in anger. Martin quickly got into bed and dived under the covers. Harry began to prod and tickle the blue eyed monster until he began to wriggle, and giggle with laughter.

“Harry! Stop it! I’m going to go to sleep, I swear!” Martin rolled around the bed with in a fit of laugher before placing his head on his, soft, white pillow and closing his eyes.

“You better, or you’re going to grandmas” Harry threatened as he switched off the light and left the room.

 The alarm buzzed at seven o’clock. Harry got all the camping equipment downstairs and began to cook breakfast in the kitchen. He took a peak into Martin’s room, he was still fast asleep. He tip toed in his blue dressing gown into his bedroom and pulled out an air horn. Harry darted back into Martin’s room and held the air horn next to Martin’s ear, he then blasted the horn. The noise echoed throughout the entire house.

Martin jumped out of bed, and fell out screaming while holding his ear in pain. “Got you from last night, you little snot!” Harry exclaimed while laughing. “I’ve made you breakfast, come down quick before it gets any later. We’re heading out in half an hour!” Harry chuckled his way out of the room. His short dark hair and head bobbed up and down as he giggled.

Half an hour later, they were out the door with their bags, spare clothes and tent as they set out for the forest a few miles from their home. Harry jumped into the front seat after throwing everything into the boot of his range rover. “We’re all set now little man, fishing rods too!” He exclaimed as he closed the door and started the engine.

The road up to the forest was rocky and bumpy; the range rover bounced up and down like a space hopper to get there. The car park just outside the wooded area was the size of a foot ball pitch, but it was quiet and no cars were seen. Just an old, rusty tractor parked up on the far side of the forests entrance.

 The yellow tractor shone brightly back at Harry as the sun beamed down heavily from the sky. The metal panel on the tractor was spray painted with a black skull and cross bones. The tractor made Harry shiver. He didn’t like the look of it. Martin turned and smiled at Harry, his brown hair blowing in the wind as he watched his brother begin to unpack.

“Take a few of your things and we’ll start walking, squirt.” Harry ordered, after he closed the boot of his car and locked it. Harry grabbed his rucksack and tent he began to walk up the hilled car park, towards the entrance of the forest. Martin’s small feet shuffled along the footpath behind his older brother. Martin dashed at each pause his brother made towards the wooded area, and towards the beginning of their two day camp.

The forest air was damp and full of noise. The birds squawked in the branches of the tall, skyscraper like trees. The noise of grasshoppers, pheasants and buzzing insects were all in earshot of them while they walked through the green, giant island. The smell of pine and manure was in the air, the stench brought out the biting insects.

Harry got out his compass and map and looked to find a good spot. “Ah, ha! I see where we’re going.” He chuckled, as he stuck his index finger into his mouth and lifted it up high, above his head. “This way, you little monster!” Harry pointed his finger in front of him. He waited for Martin to catch up so he could lightly kick him from behind.

“Ouch! I’ll fart in your face while you sleep for that!” Martin yelled and held up his fist to Harry. Harry smiled wickedly and told him to keep walking. Beneath their feet, the crackle of twigs, leaves and snail shells echoed throughout the lush, green forest. The trees that surrounded them branched out into the clear, blue sky and towards the beaming, bright sun. The sunlight darted in between the giant pine trees; it bounced across the forest floor like glaring disco ball lights. The pool of lights on the forest floor lit the path towards their campsite.

Harry couldn’t handle the brightness of the sun. He moved his hand across his face every time they walked into one of the pools of light that shone between each wooden, sky scraper. After fifteen minutes of walking, the view ahead was of a small grassy area. It was untouched by anything in the forest, the green grass swayed in the wind and a pool of light beamed down upon it. Large bushes covered the back of the green earth, and a river ran next to it.

  It was just beginning to get dark as they began to set up their camp site. Martin helped by pegging the tent up and unpacking the camping equipment. Harry set up the tent and began to collect wood for the camp fire. The trickling of the glistening water next to them played its melody while darkness settled in. The noise of the crickets got louder as the stars began to shine in the blackness, harry lit the campfire with a disposable lighter and opened a bag of marshmallows and barbeque skewers.

Martin scrambled out of the tent and sat next to the fire. “Can I have one Harry? Pleaaaase?” He begged with his bulging, puppy dog eyes and little baby like hands in a praying motion.

“Only if you be good and sleep tonight. We’ll go out fishing tomorrow. So you’ll need your rest bug face.” Harry explained as he slid the marshmallows onto two barbeque skewers. The camp fire flickered and crackled while they spoke.

“I will, I will. Please can I have a marshmallow, please? Please? Please?” Martin begged as he licked his lips and reached out with both hands wildly at the bag of marshmallows.

“Yes, here you go numb nuts.” Harry snorted and handed Martin a skewer of marshmallows. They both ate toasted marshmallows and shared ghost stories through the night. An hour later they went to sleep.

A noise of an engine roared through the forest, the cranking and grinding of metal and the smell of oil filled the air. Harry was startled awake, he quickly looked at his watch in disbelief. It was three o’clock in the morning, who would be out at this time trampling around in the forest? A beam of blinding, bright light was shone directly through their tent. A roar of an engine bellowed closer and closer towards them. Harry quickly shook Martin awake. They both looked in shock as they stuck their heads outside of their tent.

The bright yellow tractor that they saw in the car park was right in front of them. The headlights blinded and obscured their view of the dark figured driver. The noise of the engine screamed as smoke bellowed out from its exhaust. The tractor hurled itself forward to destroy the tent Harry and Martin were in. Harry quickly grabbed hold of Martin, and rolled them both to safety behind a nearby tree before the tractor flattened their tent and belongings. Martin squeaked with fear while he watched the razor sharp blades of the back of the tractor chew the tent to shreds.

The engine stopped and all fell silent. The footsteps of the unknown driver climbed down from the tractor grabbing hold of something on his way down. He looked at the remains of Harry and Martin’s campsite. The blinding headlights of the tractor revealed a sinister and horrific figure wearing a torn up, and bloody farmers outfit. They couldn’t quite make out what he was carrying in his hand.

 Harry shuffled to one side and snapped several branches by the base of the tree. He quickly moved out of the farmers view. All was still silent, until they heard the ripping, and beating sound of the chainsaw.

The man marched up to the tree, blood dripping from the rusty chainsaw stained the green, forest floor. Harry and Martin began to run for their lives. The branches of the trees slapped them both while they ran. The farmer held his chainsaw up into the air and let out a cry of anger as he began to chase the two boys through the dark forest.

With a torch handy, Harry fiddled with it to switch it on. A large branch came from nowhere and slapped him across the face, striking him down to the forest floor with a heavy thud.  Martin looked back and cried with worry that his brother would get torn to pieces; he went back for him and yanked him back up. Harry switched on the torch and picked his younger brother up in his arms. Puffing and panting, he ran as fast as he could away from the noise of the chainsaw and the yells of the psychopathic farmer.   

The noise grew louder, and louder as the farmer came closer, and closer towards them. His yells now clear for them to hear.

“This is my forest! Only I’m allowed here! I will chop you like I chop these trees!” The farmer bellowed over the top of the whizzing chainsaw. His footsteps gaining on them with every step he made.

Harry fell down to the ground in agony. He tried to crawl back up, but he twisted his ankle and could not stand. Martin tumbled into a bush in front of him. The farmer stood directly above Harry, his lips dripping with saliva as he grabbed Harry and pinned him to a tree with one hand. Harry tried to wriggle free, but it was no use. The farmer was stronger than him. The farmer leaned into Harry’s face and whispered the same words as he’d been yelling behind them.

“I’ll chop you up like these trees” He growled, bearing his teeth as he began to saw into Harry’s body. Harry left out a scream of pain as his body began to separate with the roaring and turning blades of the chainsaw. The farmer laughed with satisfaction as the blood splattered over his torn up jumpsuit and onto his face.

Harry’s body was now separate. His legs dropped to the floor and his body was held in place by the farmer. Blood ran from the tree to the floor, where the flowers below were stained with Harry’s blood.  The farmer threw Harry’s body to one side and turned off his chainsaw. He let out a triumphant scream as he tossed the other half of Harry by the bushes. He left with his chainsaw hanging by his ankles, still dripping with blood.

Martin crawled out of the bushes and cried out with sadness as he looked at his brother’s decapitated body lit up by the torch. He crawled up to his top half and curled up beside it. He sobbed and cried himself to sleep. He woke up an hour later by the smell of his brother’s decaying body. He looked around to find the torch in the darkness. He got up and wiped the blood from the torch and turned back at the view of the destroyed campsite and abandoned tractor in the distance. Fireflies surrounded the bushes ahead of him, giving him some light. He began to walk across the forest and eventually found the path he and his brother, Harry took to get there.

A shadowy figure darted across the path ahead of him. His heart began to beat fast after the shock set in again, he was all alone.

“Who’s out there?” He cried out, but no one answered. The only sound was the cold breeze in the wind that blew into his ears. He turned around to look behind him and he saw no one there. Only deer, moths and fireflies. He then turned again, viewing the dark figure darting from bush to bush just in front of him. Martin began to shake with fear as he slowly made his way past where the figure was.

A voice whispered behind him. “You’re wood to me!” The voice echoed across the whistling wind. Martin nearly jumped out of his pale white skin as he heard this and turned around. Stood in front of him was the farmer, the chainsaw held below his waist dripping with blood. Martin stood frozen with fear as he shone the torch on the farmer’s scarred and wrinkled face. His dark, piercing eyes made Martin’s heart nearly jump out of his mouth and his drooling mouth made his stomach tighten. The Farmer grinned staring at Martin’s shaking body.

The yank of the chainsaw cord brought the mechanical killing beast to life. It howled as its teeth sank into little Martin’s body. The tearing and squirting of his flesh and blood quenched the beasts thirst.

Poor little Martin, he didn't stand half a chance.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy the story. Please give me your thoughts and views. :)

Reviews

[Closed Account]

Good story, but it might need a little bit of editing. I really enjoyed the false start at the beginning (this is a ghost story: BOO!), but after that there was a lack of suspense before the sudden dismemberment. Personally, I might have had the boys encounter their sinister farmer before he killed them, but it's your story.

One other thing I noticed (particularly in the beginning), you tend to use a lot of similar adjectives up against one another, "The road up to the forest was rocky and bumpy". "Rocky" implies "bumpy", so there's no need to have both in the same sentence. "the range rover bounced up and down like a space hopper to get there" if you left it at "bounced like a space hopper" you might have more concise sentences to quicken the pace of the story.

Just a couple of suggestions, but excellent work!

[Harlowe Pilgrim]

Funny and gory - I enjoyed it very much.

But then, it's funny and gory. What's not to like?

[M Garcia]

Creepy!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Love it. The ending should have been left hanging in my mind, but I love it none the less.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Oh, my! I kept hoping that it was all some terrific joke that Harry had manufactured to get even with his brother, Martin. Oh, my! There are really such people out there and that terrifies the crap out of me. You kept me going from beginning to end. Great story telling!

[tynamite]

I liked the bit when Harry screamed at the beginning of the story. I suppose we can all imagine what that was like. It's nice you put enough description in it. That's not something I see very often.

[GypsyMelody]

chilling piece! love it!