Mite Of Men: Part 3

In part three, Dr Jim Burton and Edward Thompson make a gruesome discovery.

Part 3

The reception was deathly quiet. Outside was a different story; crowds of employees and emergency services huddled around the building. A policeman gestured for Jim and Edward to exit the building. But they could not: they knew they had to stop the dust mite themselves. At the reception desk, papers were spread across the floor, tiles were smashed from the walls and ceiling, and office stationary was scattered around the desk.

Above the desk, a ventilation gate was hanging by one metal bolt; the rest of it lay in bits and pieces on Rachel’s office chair. On closer inspection, Jim discovered long brown hairs, and streaks of blood all over the wooden floor. This could have only meant one thing: the dust mite was here.

Edward began franticly searching the office as if he was looking for survivors in a collapsed building.

 “Where is she? She can’t have gone far. Maybe she’s outside. Yes, she must be outside,” Edward gasped as he panted for breath opening the office’s cupboards and closets. He Turned to Jim with blurry eyes, his tears just beginning to fall from his eyes. Edward grasped tightly onto Jim’s shoulders holding his breath for reassurance. 

“Pull yourself together, man! Like you said, she’s probably out there with the rest of them,” Jim pointed out his thin index finger towards the crowd of wide-eyed onlookers behind the glass door. Suddenly, there were thuds and bangs just below where they stood; then the screams began.

“HELP! SOMEONE, PLEEAAASSEE! HELP ME!”

The shrilled voice of a woman cried out from somewhere below and beyond the walls of the reception hall. Her screams sliced through the silence of the room like a hot knife through butter. The woman’s voice was instantly recognisable. . . It was Rachel’s.

***

Rachel’s screams slowly faded into the background while Jim and Edward quickly put together a plan.

“I’ve got the serum to kill the thing. Go and grab that fire extinguisher by the wall and we’ll end this right now,” said Jim, holding up the syringe nodding towards the wall.

“How will we get rid of this monster, then?” Edward asked, lifting the fire extinguisher off of the wall.  

“We’ll flush the mite out of its resting place. You get Rachel out of there while I distract it and then we’ll hit the dust mite together with all we’ve got,” explained Jim, pushing up his thick black-framed glasses. Edward nodded and took the map out from his shirt pocket pressing it flat against the wall.

“It’s got to be around there somewhere,” Edward’s finger trailed down below the reception hall on the blue printed map. “The basement,” Edward cried out, slamming his finger down on the map. “That’s where Rachel’s screams came from. It’s this floor below us.” Edward looked at Jim, who stared at the map in thoughtful silence before speaking.

“I agree with you. But it’s plausible the mite is hiding in one of the vent shafts near the basement. We could be completely wrong about its location.” Jim pointed on the map for Edward to see while pausing for more thought. “Although all of the interconnecting tunnels lead directly to the basement, so that’s probably our best bet.” 

“We could try and flank the thing,” Edward suggested, looking up at Jim from crouching next to the map. “One of us would have to crawl through the vent and down into the basement. Shall we flip a coin?” Edward’s smile broadened as Jim grunted with disapproval.

“You know there’s no way I can fit through those tunnels. I’m a bit bigger than you, you know,” Jim chuckled and patted his round stomach proudly.

“Okay then. I’ll take the syringe since I may bump into our friend first.”

“Good, but don’t you dare lose it young man,” Jim warned, watching Edward carefully place the syringe into his shirt pocket.

“Of course I won’t. I wouldn’t still be here if I had butterfingers all my life Jim,” Edward laughed. “So are you ready, Dr?”

“Ready as an old man can be. First, we need some supplies and torches. It’s going to be dark down there.” Edward rolled up his sleeves and dragged his finger across the map and spotted the old office supplies room; it was just down the corridor from the reception desk.

“Ah-ha! The supplies room is just down the corridor from here,” Edward announced nodding down the hall past Jim, before getting back onto his feet, and rolling up the map. Edward strode down the corridor while Jim shuffled behind him carrying the heavy fire extinguisher with both hands.

The wooden door to the supplies office creaked open letting out a stifling stench of rubber and cleaning fluid. Edward coughed violently as the dust of the little room flew into his mouth and up his nostrils. Jim flicked the light on behind him, revealing a long lost room of  office artefacts; piles of yellow stained printer paper, rusty fax machines, typewriters with missing keys; cleaning products, mop buckets and broomsticks were lined up against one side of the room’s wall; above all of these ancient supplies where wooden shelves which were rotting on their damp fixtures. They creaked and moaned under the heavy piles of folders, which were full with old documents; they barely held their weight because of them.

“What a room,” announced Edward. “I sure hope we can find some torches that work, otherwise, we’ll have to resort to older methods. The old flame on a stick trick.” Jim placed the fire extinguisher down next to the door holding it open, and began searching through the boxes of office stationary and printing paper.

“All of this junk is as old as I am,” wheezed Jim, moving a dusty Royal typewriter off of other boxes.

“You’re just not as dusty,” Edward chuckled then chocked on the drifting dust from the heavy Royal typewriter Jim had moved. Edward carried on moving the cleaning equipment aside revealing a pile of boxes underneath. The shelf above him creaked at this disturbance and gave way onto Edward, crashing on top of him; A great cloud of dust erupted from the collapsed shelf and spread across the room. The noise made Jim jerk with shock; he turned around to find Edward sprawled underneath a pile of folders and small boxes in the corner of the room.

Edward’s hand shot up into the air through the pile of office rubble. “Found them,” he spluttered from underneath the broken shelve. In his hand he held a black torch; its beam of light lit the entire room up like sodium when it glows brightly in its reaction with oxygen.

“Good job, young man. Looks like your just as dusty, I mean . . . trusty as the rest of the supplies in here,” Jim smiled while covering his eyes from the light. “Think you’d fit well in here.”

“Ha-ha. That’s very funny Jim!” Edward scrambled through the little box of torches and made sure each of them worked. Jim helped him out from under the broken wooden shelf and shook off the dust from his clothes. Edward found a blue travel bag which he quickly put the torches into and followed Jim out of the supply office and down the first staircase to the basement.

Suddenly, all of the lights went out. The only light that was seen was the sirens of the emergency vehicles and street lights outside the main entrance; their lights danced across the walls of the reception like a disco ball. 

“Lucky we got these torches just in the nick of time,” said Jim clicking on a torch while heaving the fire extinguisher down the staircase.

The science facility was very different under the spell of darkness; the shadows and low gusts of air from the extractors, along with the sounds of squeaks and creaks all around them made both scientists nervous of what was to come next. They carefully went down the steps of the concrete staircase one at a time so they weren’t caught off guard. Their torches glowed and bobbed in front of them viewing floating dust particles, and damp walls of the staircase. They knew the dust mite was close; they could hear its screeches in the darkness ahead. 

The metal frame of a vent glinted in the beams of light from their torches; it was one set of steps away from the solid, iron basement door. Edward took the map out once again for reference; Edward found the vent led directly over the top of the basement. He turned to Jim and rolled up the map again,

“Well, this is my stop.”

“I’ll see you in there,” smiled Jim. “Just don’t get killed before. . .” Jim was interrupted by the dust mite’s hissing from the other side of the door. Edward couldn’t bring himself to think that Rachel’s silence meant she was already gone. Jim could see it in his eyes right before he climbed into the vent. Jim patted Edward firmly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll find Rachel and get her out of there.”

“Give me five minutes before you open the door. I’ve picked up walkie talkies from the supply room. They’re in the bag,” Edward pointed to the blue travel bag at the bottom of the staircase behind him, before readjusting his walkie talkie that was loosely clipped onto his belt.

“Good luck, Edward. I’m counting on you,” Jim shook his hand and wrapped one of the bag’s straps around his shoulder.

“You too, my old friend,” Edward replied before he turned around and began to crawl up the narrow vent.

“Remember to keep in touch,” Jim called out before tightly fitting the vent’s metal frame behind Edward. Jim took a deep breath and began slowly walking down the steps; his feet echoed loudly with each step he took; his heart thumped so hard that it was the only sound he could hear as he approached the rusty basement door.

The end was near; Dr Jim Burton felt it.     

Author's Note

It took a while to put this one up because of all the editing (hopefully it has paid off), and I wanted this chapter to be about the character's relationships with one another and their development. I hope you enjoy reading this one. Feedback would be great- especially on the quality if you think it’s the better of the chapters- please say so. It would be great to hear from you!

Reviews

[TheSweet]

Editing really is the key to writing. This flows and is very well written, I like the way it is going - I was expecting this to be a three parter but am pleased to see it continue. It's a simple idea that just kinda works. You've definitely honed in on the character development and relationships - so well done there.

Me being the pedantic so-and-so that I am, though, notices a couple of things I'd like to pin-point. Firstly, I personally avoid using elongated letters in speech, but that's not problem - using capitals however, kind of is. Even in speech, full capitals should not be needed to add to an exclamation and it takes away from the grammar of the sentence.

Secondly, I know it seems hard because both characters are in the scenes, but it feels like you're using their names a little much, and especially at the start of sentences. Perhaps you could reword a couple to the middle of the sentence or find a way to avoid using the name.

Other than that, I'm trying to judge a dust mite in my brain to figure out how well a syringe could pierce what I assume is an overgrown carapace. Probably will have weak points... :) Going good, my friend. Thanks for adding!

[Ryzo]

Thanks very much for your kind words and critisism. The Capitals in the speech is to show that particular character yelling, not to add exclamation. But I understand where you are coming from there. Yeh, the whole using the names too much I know what you mean and i'll try and work on that. I there anything of yours you wish me to review? I'm happy you keep reviewing my stuff its been much help. I didn't even expect it to run on for more than three either, I guess when the characters take over its kind of hard when your fixed on the story yourself- lost in its hypnotic powers when it grabs you. Thanks again Sweet! :)

[TheSweet]

No worries at all. I don't have anything in need of review just yet - still working on new stuff. But I always enjoy reviewing anyway. You're more than welcome to flick through any of my works as you please, but don't feel you need to - it's at own leisure. :P

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I'm glad can't control the creature. I like the chase and the attitude of doom at the end. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote

[Ryzo]

Always a pleasure, Coyote. :)