Chapter Eight

“Hey, you ready to go?” Kacey's voice pulled Mira from her memory. She nodded up at her brother.

“What's today?” she asked suddenly.

“July 13th,” Kacey replied. Mira's face became blank.

“I've gotta go.” She got up and raced away. She ran through the house and out the front door. She didn't stop at the car, she had to run. Why had she left New York? That was so stupid. She promised Ethan she wouldn't leave. Every year on the anniversary of Ryan's death, they always went down to The Lot and lit Ryan a candle. They would eat Ryan's favorite candy and they would play his favorite song. Both of them would play guitar and sing. Sometimes Darwin would be there. Sometimes the rest of the gang would be there. And sometimes it was just Ethan and Mira. The anniversary was the next evening. She had to get back to New York.

“Mira!” Niko called when he entered the house. Mira was already throwing some clothes into her backpack. Niko appeared at her doorway with his arms folded, a scowl on his face. His expression instantly changed to that of worry. “Where are you going?” His voice sounded unnaturally perplexed.

“I have to go back to New York for a couple of days,” Mira answered. She shoved her knife and money into her pocket.

“Why?” Niko asked.

“Personal reasons. I'll be back in two days.” Mira was hurrying around the room. When she was finished she sat down heavily on her bed. She sighed and closed her eyes. She used to have to try really hard to feel Ryan's presence. But now it was easier. He was right. He never left her. Whenever she was sad or scared or angry, it was his voice in her head that she heard. Even four years later, she wanted him to come back. She wanted to talk to him one last time. But he wasn't going to come back.

“I'm coming with you then,” Niko decided as he watched his sister. He could feel her agony. All he wanted to do now was protect her from whatever was ailing her. But he knew he couldn't. Mira's eyes flew open. She looked like she wanted to protest, but she didn't.

“Fine. We have to leave now. I'll go leave a note for Kimmy.” Mira ran upstairs and scribbled a note which she taped to the fridge.

They left not an hour later, after speaking with Kacey. They asked if he wanted to come too, but he didn't. It would just be easier if he stayed and talked with Kimmy and Arthur. Mira and Niko hardly said a word to one another as they sat on the plane. Mira kept playing that night (and many others) in her head over and over again. She shouldn't have left New York. Ethan is alone now. With the gang, but she and Ethan had become like siblings. Roger was alive still, but just barely. He was so deep into drugs that Ethan was basically taking care of himself. His parents were both killed in the 9/11 attacks. Mira had been helping. For awhile he'd lived at her house. Why had she not told him goodbye? Why was she so selfish?

Niko kept stealing glances at his sister. Why was she so agitated all of a sudden? Why did she need to go back to New York? What was causing this? He wanted to ask her. He wanted to know. That's the reason he came. Plus, he wanted to see if his friends were still around. He would come to stay with his mother for two weeks every summer until this year. He wanted to see how his friends were doing. He had a few friends around the neighborhood. One friend he'd had would come around all the time looking for Mira, Niko being afraid to admit to being her brother, would say he was Luka's nephew. He had so much fun with his friend. Every year they would hang out. Until he was about thirteen. The kid never came around that year, and all the years after.

When they landed, Mira dragged Niko down streets he'd never been on before. She told him they were going the back way. Mira was silent beside her brother. She was so deep in thought, that she led him back to her old house. When she finally realized that this was no longer her house anymore, she was half way up the steps. She froze suddenly, and just as she was about to turn away, the door swung open. Darwin stood in front of her. She had no idea what to say. She hadn't spoken to him since Ryan's death. She always knew he was watching her though. He was always keeping tabs on her. She acted liked she hated it, she tried to keep him away, but deep down she liked knowing that someone cared enough to know where she was. Mama only cared about her reputation. Mama only cared about what people thought of her, usually she told people she had a son who got perfect grades and was a little angel. Mira discovered that were was actually truth to her mother's words.

“I'm sorry Darwin,” Mira said confidently when she saw the look of anger on Darwin's face. Niko, who stood behind her, was tense. Who the hell was this guy?

“You took off without telling any of us where you were going. We thought one of the other hoods kidnapped you. We were minutes away from starting a war!” Darwin's words were harsh, but he spoke in a low voice.

“I'm sorry Darwin. But I came back didn't I?” Niko could hear the anger in Mira's voice.

“Yeah, after almost a month. And who the hell is that?” Darwin pointed behind Mira to Niko. Mira didn't drop her gaze from Darwin's face.

“This is Niko. Niko this is Darwin. He's my...”

“I'm her brother,” Darwin finished. Niko shook his head slowly.

“You're not her brother,” Niko said shaking his head. Mira elbowed him in the side and Darwin gave him an amused expression. “I'm her brother,” he added. Darwin glanced from Mira to Niko.

“Well he might as well be my brother,” Mira said bitterly as she folder her arms. Darwin laughed deeply at her facial expression. It was the one that always made him laugh, even when they were younger. He grabbed Mira roughly and pulled her into a hug. When he let go, there was a deep sadness in his dark eyes.

“You came back for Ryan huh?” he asked as he came out, pulling the door closed behind him. He sat on the steps and looked over at his brother's best friend.

“For Ethan; Ryan is always with me, just like he promised.” Mira sat down next to him and stared up at the stars.

“I'm still sorry Mia, I'm still sorry.” His admission caused Mira's eyebrows to knit together. She grabbed his face.

“Dare, you have a wife and kids now. It's been four years. Don't keep getting stuck in that deep pit of regret. Ryan is still here. He's still with us, in our memories and in the legacy of these streets. Besides, it wasn't all your fault. The kid had a faulty gun.” Niko was seeing a different side of his sister. She wasn't as distant and angry.

“I know that Mira.” Darwin pushed her hands away. “But it is my fault. I gave Ethan the wrong amount on purpose. I was trying to skimp the b******s. I was still angry about what happened to Five
Fingers. I didn't think the kid would weigh the damn thing. If I had just given Ethan the right amount, Ryan would still be alive!” Darwin thought Mira was stand up and slap him and never want to talk to him again. She was more devastated by Ryan's death than anyone else. But instead Mira pulled something out of her pocket and set it in gently in Darwin's large hand.

“Darwin, there is absolutely no f*****g point in thinking about the what-ifs. Ryan is dead. Nothing will change that.” Darwin nodded, but he was hardly listening. He was staring at the object in his hand. “Ryan told me that if anything ever happened to him, I should give that to you. I forgot about it for such a long time, I'm sorry.” He held a small, round, smooth stone. In beautiful cursive letters carved deep into the rock, were the words, BE AT PEACE DARWIN. Tears welled up in Darwin's eyes, but Mira knew he would never shed them. She smiled at him and pushed up from the stairs.

“Mia, you're not staying here are you?” Darwin asked glancing up from his gift.

“No. I don't think so. I think I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. I'm living with my dad now,” Mira replied. Darwin gave her a sharp look. In that moment, she knew that he'd known about Niko all along. He'd known who her dad was. He clenched his jaw and his eyes turned cold. He knew her father.

“Mira,” he warned, trying to keep his voice light. “Don't... don't test him.”

“You knew!” Mira accused. The second his expression changed, she understood. “Ryan knew. You all knew.”

“Mira!” both Niko and Darwin shouted in attempt to stop her from running. Did she even acknowledge them? Of course not. Niko glared over at Darwin.

“Goddammit,” he muttered. “Look what you did. The last time she did that, she ended up in a coma for three weeks!” Darwin couldn't help the smug smile that crossed his lips. It was a pleasant feeling knowing that he knew Mira better than her own twin did. “What are you laughing about?” Immediately the smile was wiped from his mouth, and anger replaced his burst of self-righteousness.

“She was in a coma?” he asked, trying to hide his worry. Maybe he could convince Mira to stay. She could move back into her old room. She could stay. But he knew she wouldn't. “Forget it, you can tell me later. Don't worry about Mia, she'll be fine. I have my boys on the lookout for her all over the neighborhood. They'll tell us where she's headed. Although, I think I know where she went. Come on, I'll show you.”