Can't Stop

A hoe when it comes to word
all the world I observe
can't quite get enough
guess I'm in love
passion exudes from these fingers
remnant of ruin lingers
a glimpse into my soul
absolution becomes my goal
and my love fades
I can't feel the same
as I wonder
visions of you drive me under
tearing through this clutter
and I can't stop thinking about her
my last chance
I initiate this dance
through this language I advance
like a snake
won't make a mistake
not much to deceive
I plant the seed
and let you believe...

Reviews

[Sapphire Balasquez]

ooh! I like this one too!! all of your ideas are so clearly written out! good job! um... in the first line "A hoe when it comes to word" it sort of ruins the whole mood with the second word. is it possible to avoid using it? if this was a hate-filled poem then i think it could fit in, but you have to strategically begin and end a poem like this, where everything seems to be delicate like a spiderweb. also... the last word in that line i THINK should be "words" right? >> it didn't seem right. you could consider breaking your poems up into stanzas, just as a thought, it works nicely to separate things for dramatic efffect >.O I think it could help you out in some respects.