will it ever happen?

I hate feeling so alone

want to be where ive never been feel what ive never felt have what ive never had see what ive never seen hold what has always left cold hearted kiss what ive always missed talked like ive never spoke laugh at all the joke be who ive always been show im not different in what i want only better so its not the same think w my right brain these other fuckers left used to talk alot of s**t just like the rest til i found myself n became more modest confessed soul fuckn righteous all just to fight this loniness breakn down walls not a victim in my fall ima soldier standn tall w a small stature sperlano thats mighty mouse not a rat had multiple fractures bones from my skull to the toes its like i was born to be broken rebuild bold out spoken holdn down proven ti beat my frown yeah im sad for all hatin smash the crown no big bobble headed title or the yankees damn idol like your chick i need some midol crampn up all arthritic cant hit weight w out my arm spazn out the knees already blown not even fully grown n under gone six surgeries not lookn for sympathy or tryna sound weak n pathetic just feel neglected disrespected most all fuckn tested pushed to the limit let the cools think im timid til i bounce back put my heart under attack self sacrifice can be rude mostly nice cope w the help of family friends n vicees take as much advice as a wise man can give feel the chill in my bones didnt kno hell was so damn cold not the story ive been told so i sit drink n smoke to clear the moap like a mop keep my head hot boxed no mixn other shh not tryna overdose bleedn from the nose or heavilt sweatn out my pores on a different course late for enrollment leave the judge for the critics mind open tryna get my book written for my own souls sake dont care if it makes it or not lookn for fame i do this s**t so she will kno my name how i feel what i think troubles n the pain the happiness she'll help me gain frame by frame its plain n simple ive only taken findn her serious