Werewolfs? No problem

Patrick fights a Werewolf

12 midnight at pier 88 in San Diego, California Werewolf hunt.

Midnight, it was the usually working hours for Patrick so to be honest he was not at all tired. Now when he met with Mr.Smith to get his money after a certain employer payed for his hard earned kill, it was those times he needed a coffee. Mr.smith always insisted that they would meet at noon at the same diner. This was just because Mr.Smith was a paranoid man, always thinking that the things that went bump in the night might want to bump back for being with Patrick. Patrick learned quickly that paranoia could sometimes be the best thing in his line of business, sometimes. If anything it kept him prepared. For example Patrick was hunting a Werewolf tonight, so he donned the corrective protection which he either modified or created himself. Ultra strong, Ultra light body armor for max protection for his chest. Short leg armor that only went half way down from the waist to the knee. Thermal-optic sunglasses he created himself along with his high tech arm gauntlets, and modified M9 to take down a Werewolf.  Patrick patted himself checking if he had his other weapons, he looked more like a special ops solider then Super natural hunter, but being the only one in San Diego you could say special ops look more like super natural hunters. Looking out at the pier Patrick gave a proud smile and inhaled taking in the salty sea air which he loved. The quietness of the ocean tide and the passive water slashing on the pier support beams was the only noise. The wind though gave Patrick a cool touch which chilled his spine, it felt grim. Patrick looked out at the decaying warehouse it’s roof lined with holes and the windows boarded up. The pier itself looked weak like it was ready to be taken by Poseidon’s relaxing but forceful hand. Our hero made his way onto the pier the wood cricking with each step he took. Patrick groaned with each step wishing the pier would be silent. As he walked up to the Warehouse Patrick came to a realization, and he walked to each side of the pier and looked underneath the walk ways. He stood up nodding.

“No need to have the accident from the 2003 hunt happen again.” He thought to himself. Patrick approached the green rusty doors of the Warehouse, the sea was not being kind to it. Shacking the doors some he noticed they were unlocked and continued to push one open. The Door hinges were rusted over and made a loud screeching sound that echoed though the whole building when they slightly rubbed against each other. Patrick closed his eyes tight and sighed

“Well, so much for the element of surprise.” He said under his breath trying to fit thru the crack of the door to keep from having to open it more. Patrick was able to fit though without making the door screech again to much, but when it did it might as well have been a jet taking off. Once inside the smell of rotting fish hit Patrick like a brick wall and he took a step back gaging. Giving himself time to recover he touched the side of his sunglasses and the lenses turned green and he was able to see. He smiled proudly thinking he was a genius for creating his specs. Pulling out his M9 he walked around the maze of crates which he could only guess was filled with the stuff that gave off the foul smell. Patrick was careful he made sure that with each step he looked around the ceiling, walls, nooks, and behind this being the time that paranoia was a good thing. A small growl came from behind. Patrick turned aiming his gun, nothing. Patrick stood still and kept quiet trying to hear for any more sounds. He needed to turn the tables because of right now Patrick was the one being hunted. Keeping still Patrick stopped breathing listening for the Werewolf.  From Behind Patrick could hear a growl and then what sounded like paws of a large animal jumping off the ground. Patrick turned quickly jumping and rolling out of the Werewolf's way and it slid on the slick floor. Patrick looked at the beast which was a species of Werewolf that looked more like wolf having to walk on four legs, then its more humanoid looking cousin. The only problem was that this guy was about the size of a small car. 

“Oh S**t your big!” Patrick said raising his gun and shooting the silver bullets at the beast. Patrick’s bullets hit there target and the Creature let out a high pitch yelp like a dog in pain would do. The beast then jumped onto the crates bouncing from one to the other fast enough that Patrick could barely keep up. Just as it got to the last crate from where it would jump on Patrick, the wood broke making one of its paws slip into the crate tripping it up.  Patrick took his chance and fired once at the beast aiming for the head, but the Werewolf pulled out in time so that it got hit in the chest, but pulled out ripping it paw up. Despite the shot the Werewolf lunged and tackled Patrick. Now pinned the only thing that kept from ripping Patrick apart was the metal gauntlets were keeping the teeth from sinking into his skin. With one arm being gnawed on Patrick used the other to slightly pry open the beasts jaws.

“If I can just...Get my Arm though!” He yelled, grunting to open the jaws. Finally Patrick was able to pry the lower jaw down enough to stick his entire forearm down the Werewolf’s throat. With the little section of the Gauntlet sticking out Patrick pressed down on button that was on it. The Werewolf started getting electrocuted its body tensing up as the energy surged though it. Patrick was safe from the shock thanks to the rubber like materiel he was wearing. Pulling his arm out of the Werewolf's mouth Patrick stood back picking his gun up and shot the creature a few times while it still was recovering from the shock. The beast fell over bleeding from its wounds. Patrick smiled.

“Thought you were going to kill me huh?” He said pulling a knife from one of the pant leg tactical pockets. Patrick kneeled down next to the Werewolf and it snapped up grabbing Patrick in its jaws by his chest. It whipped him around some then let go throwing him into a crate the wood breaking and fish falling all over Patrick. Patrick crawled out of the pile of dead fish rubbing his head. The Werewolf jumped out of a near by window breaking the wood that boarded it.

“Oh Hell no I'm not done with you yet!”  Patrick yelled, getting up climbing to the window. Patrick jumped out the window and rolled when he hit the ground to keep from getting hurt from the fall. Patrick ran after the Werewolf its pace slow from the multiple bullet wounds and cut up paw. The wood of the pier bellow one of Patrick's feet broke ripping his leg up as it fell thru. 

“Ah, S**t...Hell.” He grunted, pulling his leg out not wanting to loose that Werewolf.   Patrick got his leg free and limped all the way to his car that he parked on the street next to the entry. Walking to the trunk he quickly opened it up and peeled back the board up revealing parts to a Dragunov sniper rifle. Patrick quickly put the gun together then crawled on his car. Patrick aimed his gun seeing the beast thru the scope only a few yards away. Patrick waited for the right time, then shot. The bullet rang out echoing in the air waking people up that lived near by. The Beast fell over this time dead. Patrick smiled and laid his head on the hood of his car.

“Oh, wow I didn’t expect that hunt to be so hard.” He said, claiming down off the car and getting in to pick the beast up.

The next day around noon Patrick limped into the 50s diner with checkerboard flooring. The top of his head was covered with bandages and held a Burlap sack dripping on the clean floor. Patrick walked over to Mr.Smith.

“Did the owners of the Pier pay you this morning?” he asked not even sitting down. Mr.Smith wiped his face clean with a napkin and looked at Patrick. 

“Yeah they sure did, and they were well pleased that their problem...is...gone.” Mr.Smith was saying his speech slowing down as looked at the wet dripping burlap sack leaving blood stains on the ground. “what is in that Bag, Patrick?” he asked his eyes bugging out. 

“Oh you know a little something from work.” He said acting like it was no big deal and scratched behind his left ear.  

“Patrick, I swear if that is a head again then I'm going to...” Mr.Smith said glaring at Patrick, before he opened the bag showing him the Werewolf head inside. Mr.Smith gaged holding his napkin to his mouth and running off to the bathroom. Patrick sat down in the booth grabbing a menu.

“You should be getting use to it by now, Mr. Smith.” Patrick said projecting his voice. He sat there with the burlap sack next to him, and reading the menu off.

Author's Note

I don't care for grammar right now, but point it out anyway. It's late when I finished it so I was rushing to get my ideas in word before crashing. I'll fix anything that needs to be fixed later. But please do tell what you think of it and where I might need to improve.

Reviews

[HorrorMaster]

I like it, very good

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I like the pace of the story and the action in your words. The characters were strong and I like the chasing of the werewolf. A outstanding story. Thank you.
Coyote

[Domenic Luciani]

I agree with james, a little polishing here and there, especially on the opening paragraph which can either make or break a story like this. Could turn out nicely after the editing.

[James Watts]

Midnight, it was the usually working hours for Patrick so to be honest he was not at all tired. (try rewriting this)
example: Patrick was accustomed to working the midnight shift, so to be honest he was not at all tired. (you could also take out "the" and "shift" from my example and simply put midnights)

Now when he met with Mr.Smith to get his money after a certain employer payed for his hard earned kill, it was those times he needed a coffee. (would use "had paid" payed should be paid.

Try rewriting. Example: The only time he felt the need for a coffee was when meeting with Mr. Smith to pick up money owed to him from a certain employer for a hard earned kill.

Patrick patted himself checking if he had his other weapons, he looked more like a special ops solider then Super natural hunter, but being the only one in San Diego you could say special ops look more like super natural hunters.
(comma after himself. Super should have a lower case s. look add -ed

Looking out at the pier Patrick gave a proud smile and inhaled taking in the salty sea air which he loved. (comma after pier comma after inhaled)

Patrick looked out at the decaying warehouse it’s roof lined with holes and the windows boarded up. (comma after warehouse. it's should be its)

Our hero made his way onto the pier the wood cricking with each step he took.
(comma after pier cricking should be creaking)

Patrick groaned with each step wishing the pier would be silent. (either comma after step or replace wishing with and wished)

As he walked up to the Warehouse Patrick came to a realization, and he walked to each side of the pier and looked underneath the walk ways.

Try rewriting . example: Approaching the warehouse, Patrick realized he was about to repeat a past mistake, so he scouted both sides of the pier and checked underneath the walkways.

I only gave suggestions and few corrections for the first paragraph. There are similar issues throughout the piece but is nothing a good polishing won't fix. Over all a nice write. Word of advice on long paragraphs, though. Try breaking them down some. Sometimes long paragraphs can put a strain on the eyes or cause a reader to lose interest. Makes the mind drift. I make the same mistake, so I usually have make corrections like that in my final draft. P.S. try to avoid cliches like Our hero etc.