Awake

Bodies entwine a frozen silence in chaos,

one split second of pure beauty in focus, jewels glisten, 

soft gentle, fingers down my back explode, but this cannot last, the broken glass of morning comes crashing over the hills, raging forward with every second, blinding light drags us, tears us back to life, but hang on, cling to me, just one moment longer, for everything changes today,

Blinding flashes rip through the sky like a swift blade, the blood of cold hearted clouds flows in great glory for all to see, across the roof tops, past the street lights, filling gutters, flooding drains, a stream of tears runs down this cracked window Paine, with thunderous rage this day began for my love disappeared today

Reviews

[dan]

Ryan, The imagery employed in this piece fairly LEAPS off of the page; a love that has come and gone is read a requiem to put it to a solitary sleep. Very nicely done!
I am gratefully accepting your friend request. I ask only that you send me read requests for the pieces you would like me to review. Thank you. take care...dan

[JustaManWithaPen]

Great job here you did a fantastic job expressing emotions here great job!

[Tom Heeren]

I cannot express my feelings but....it's WOW!!! You wrote out true words to capture imagination in the poem. I see the theme of sex but it was written properly to teach you the whole meaning of the poem. Poets these days have used their time to convey feelings across the globe. Nevertheless, wow!!!

We all love poems because we learn to love poetry and fiction as TWO things that shape our culture and lives. You did a good job as a poet! Congrats!!!

[Daisy Ackerman]

WONDERFUL imagery! I especially like the change from a moment of clinging (sort of still, hanging) to one where flashes "rip through the sky like a swift blade." Awesome

[M P Ramesh]

ryan,

The thunder and lightning are only the pendency of nature. But when we try to make them appear in light we fail.Disaapeared love is hiding somewhere which only a writer can find out ...you are so powered...

carry on.


M P Ramesh

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use if description Ryan. Your words made situation come alive and led them to sad ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Carolynn]

What a wonderfully descriptive poem - very original and enjoyable to read but so sad for the agony of losing someone - really well written!

[Ryan Yates]

thank you for your review i really appreciate it

[Untalented Creation]

"the broken glass of morning"
"the blood of cold hearted clouds"
I really like what you did there. It's so well-written. (: I like it.