A Comment on Gang Crime

This is a lot less about the emotions I feel however more forcused upon a belief that I have developed, that my brain wants to write about.

 

Fists are forcefully thumbing a thunderous lie

Against the cold walls of an empty mind,

Yet, to these cold boiling wars people turn an ice eye,

And, the contagious scum is allowed to grind;

Two pure, innocent boys is all it now takes

For pure, innocent blood to spill and be forgotten;

A hand, A hug, A kiss, A snog, A gun,

And a life is thrown and trampled to the bottom;

But, do we bother to stop the start

From the wrath of what could be kind?

But, do we bother to signify the people who part

From the cold toil of one malicious mind?

For now, all that remains is the boys who lay to rest,

For now, all we still do is sit and jest,

 

 

Author's Note

This poem was inspired when I was faced with a very mind toiling situation when i found two young boys just lying motionless in the middle of a field, and my mind hasn't rested from thinking of all the possibilites that could be surrounding them (so I feel there may be more written on this situation from different aspects). Please reveiw and comment...

Reviews

[Charlotte Haran]

You used alot of flowing alliteration in this which really adds a sense of anger to your piece. I love the opening line 'Fists are forcefully thumbing a thunderous lie', when read aloud it automatically enhanses the force, and the power. Brilliant.