Revolt!

Breathing light to a world run dry,

clenched fists yearning for the open sky.

You praise the world for all it's done,

and forget the God of Heaven high above.

Things must change, or our world will burn.

Eternal helfire as lost sould scream scorn.

Our battle cry, our rallying call,

To breath out light and embrace His love,

With God as my witness, I'll stand 'till the end.

 

The revolution is now.

It's time to begin.

Reviews

[Scytheriax]

A quick read and definitely to the point.
I'm curious as to what sort of revolution you're looking for. Your poem never quite specifies. Is it political based in nature, religion-based perhaps? I guess my best bet would be religion since the poem does mention God. Perhaps make this a tad bit more clear.
Also, the only grammatical errors I can spot are that the first letter of a line should be capitalized and that you misspelled "hellfire."
"Eternal helfire as lost sould scream scorn."
I'm not entirely sure what sould is supposed to be (If it's just supposed to be "soul" or "soul'd") but you might want to fix this line so it's a bit more clear to the reader.

But this is a very galvanizing poem and I enjoyed it.