Needles and promises.

A piercing needle.

screaming my eternal love for you.

A day that can never be taken back.

A day that can never be hidden.

 

Ended.

 

The words have been said.

Blinded by tears.

Manipulated by trembling fingers and never ending days.

 

Who knew the stalking nights that followed behind these never ending days would bring so many nightmares of what we had.

 

Always and forever is what i'd say,

Forever and Always you'd finish.

 

These words of love no longer echo through our halls.

But through the alley of a broken future.

 

Maybe the timing was wrong.

2 Years you exclaimed.

" I'm not ready for this life "

Our promise washed away.

 

but unlike the marking on my wrist.

The ink will never wash away.

 

The heart.

The crown.

The rays of light.

 

All of which you still represent,

Can only fade in time.

 

Like your 3/4 love.

 

My Faith, so devine.

Author's Note

Stll figuring out the site.

Reviews

[Brasso]

I like it, the sense of flow emphasises the emotion behind it. My favourite line was 'Manipulated by trembling fingers and never ending days.' because it reminded me of a violin and how a simple it is to make a horrible sound or a melody to the ears. In this sense you have created a microcosm of sorts, in this poem.
Enjoyable read, with nice imagery, sense of flow and a clear form.
On analysing poetry you have covered all 5 FLIRTS, though the rhythm seems a bit off in places, but hey nothings perfect.
Cheers and I hope you found this useful,
Brasso

[Brittany Woodbury]

You're 3/3, I liked it too.
I love the imagery of promises washing away, and how it connected to the ink two lines down. The idea of what love can lay to ruins and the permanence of something so often impermanent is transfixing.

As for critique:
1. I'm confused as to why "but" and "screaming" are not capitalized.
2. "2 Years" looks a bit odd.

Good luck with your heartache, but enjoy it too. Keep using it as inspiration and channeling it into something beautiful.

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

This is really good and I do like it but I think that you need to break up the line "Who knew the stalking nights that followed behind these never ending days would bring so many nightmares of what we had." 'Cause the way it is it doesn't fit to the other sanzas, unless that was the point lol.