Numb

Numb as the darkness come along,
I cant help but feel this way,
it is as if the world has kept going on with out me,
that the times are just letting me sit there,
and standby to watch the time go by.
Now I sit here,
alone but yet surrounded by friends,
I know they are out there,
I know they are around,
I know I can talk to them about anything that I want too,
but yet I dont want too,
yet I want to sit here and wallow in my misery,
part of me says I am right,
part of me says suck it up dumb a*s,
you have the best thing that ever happened to you,
but yet if I had the best thing that ever happened to me,
they why would I feel so alone?
Why would I have to sit back and take second place to anyone else,
even the kids and I should be equal,
I understand I have to share time with them,
I understand there are times,
that they will take priority over me,
this is nothing new to me,
but since when does an outsider deserve better treatment then I do?
Since when is a simple text, or a simple voice mail,
come too your not my f*****g mother,
I don't have to answer to you.
Once again in my life,
I sit back to contemplate the things that are fucked up around me,
yep once again it is all or mostly my fault I understand this,
guess what that is just part of my life,
I f**k up,
I speak,
I walk,
I think,
I fucked up on everyone of them,
Well I guess this means that I am nothing more then a total f**k up,
but hey maybe I should be proud,
I am actually accelerating at something in my life!
So I guess being a total f**k up is something to be proud of,
I am committed too it,
I am following through with it,
I am just going along with it...

Reviews

[Ellen Tylor]

Let the F-bombs fly, brother! The first 5 lines are good--expressive and contemplative. It gets a little like a b***h session in the middle of the poem though. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like everything in here comes from the heart.

-et

[nettkellar]

Well that one jumps around as well and screams I'm seeking pity