Story Start

Start of my story?

    My mom and I was the only life I'd ever know.

    “Kimber I'm so sorry about your mom. If theres anything I can do let me know,” another person said a voice full of pity. I smiled softly and nodded gently and then the sister from my ward walked away. The shock still numbed my chest and I couldn't cry, I didn't feel anything. I felt guilty my mom just had gotten killed and I didn't even cry I wanted to. Mom had always said don't cry because it's over smile because it happened. It was her favorite quote and she had said it all the time. Every time she had quoted it I used grumbled most of the time saying how much I hated it when she said it. But then it ran repeatedly threw my head like a doll with a broken string that wouldn't stop saying one phrase. Every time it went threw my head it was in her soft spoken voice and it seemed like she was smiling.

    I was the only one at my mothers funeral who was really there for her. She had been my only family and I had been hers. Her family had disowned her when she ran away to marry my dad. Who left us when I was seven, I had loved him but it wasn't the same as mom, there was a bond there. My father leaving had been hard but we pushed threw just like we always had and came out on top.

    I was scared I didn't know what was going to happen to me, I didn't want to go into the foster homes but no one else was going to jump into my rescue. The only thing I could think of was going to the bishop... but I didn't know what to say to him.

    Things begin to quite down the ceremony takes its beginning. First our home teacher talked saying the best of things, they had been close. Her husband had also left her and her son was killed in the war. She was the closest thing we had to family, we had faced everything together. She'd taken us in when my mom lost her job and we had no money to pay for our apartment. After her talk came to a close I stood up piano music in hand and walked up the few steps to the piano. I laid out all three pieces of paper in order then pulled the bench out. I briskly sat down and begin to play an arrangement of God be with you til we met again, it had been my own pick. It was then it hit me, she's never coming back. In the middle of the song my hands began to shake I didn't hit single right key for the next two verses. Right in the middle of the song I stood up, grabbed my music, and shuffled back down the steps to my seat. My entire body violently quivered and my vision was blurred with tears as I clutched the music to my chest. The ceremony continued to go on but I didn't listen my thoughts were other places, I spent the time just trying to remember the last words I'd said to her.

    I hadn't talked to her that morning she'd left before I got up just leaving a note on the counter saying went to the grocery store be back soon. So the last time I talked to her would have been the night before... My last words had been I love you. The part that killed me was I had said it out of habit did she know how much I really meant it? How was I supposed to tell her now? The sudden flood of emotions had made it hard to breathe and I stood up and ran out of the chapel, into the bathroom. I found the darkest corner and sunk down into it just trying so hard to breath. Sobs over took my body and I can't do anything but cry

***

    I walked back into the chapel after my melt down and every thing was at its end. People slowly cleared the room but this time no one talked to me and I just sat in the very front of the room, staring at the golden painted casket. The groups of people vanished until everything was silent, silent enough I could have heard a pin drop. The tears still streaked my face and some how I mustered up a weak sad smile.

    “Mommy I love you,” I said to the casket containing my mother's lifeless body. I sat there a moment breathing shakily until I took my hand a shakily wiped away my own tears