now and then

though boredom haunts me

like a dark cloak

though my senses lead me

to doubt,

to weakness

and my heart is troubled,

with waves of despair

as my body withers

to growing weakness

with failing strength of stamina,

unlike days before

though my thoughts lead me

to perceiving vanity and emptiness,

on levels not felt before

. . . knowledge,

with its ever expanding sense of curiosity

no longer has its hold on me,

as i wonder why

i simply acquiesce

in the knowledge i may never know

why,

like a clock that's lost its wind

an hourglass that's not upturned

the wind that's spent

the youth that went

away

forever it feels

is not a part of me

is how it feels . . .

a bird

a moth

that have lost their fluff

a leaf that's dried

a broken branch

the spin of the earth

sunrise

and down

moon up

and fades

the ever swirling tides

against the corals hard

with no one there to see

no footprint on the sand

true,

all is vanity and nothing is new

under the sun,

. . . the sense of wonder for things new,

no longer holds a hold on me,

things under microscopes

even those 'neath electron scanners

lose their grip

even though the awe was there before

for neutron stars

an' black holes

and nebulae

once held me astonished

in reverence for immensity

for creation

now,

i simply acquiesce

to the one who made it all

for everything i touch,

in all things i see

and ponder,

i simply acquiesce to the one

who made every thing i perceive

seen and unseen

i cannot keep their track

though i strived to try before

i acquiesce that i cannot,

nor do i wish to try

now my strength must be,

for sake of others who need strength

to carry on

to live for coming ones

who deserve to live for prosperity

and peace

and love