ghost

you left your imprints everywhere around the ground,
your handprints
on the walls of the knotted grain of wooden planks
that served the shell of the ancient shack
on the broken windows of its paltry, but protective face
standing on the dusty dirt of our childhood

you left particles of your soul there too
hanging lightly on the air
you were busy doing almost nothing but for enslavement
forced to be what you weren't meant to be,

our early lives were tied beneath the grimy shade of the tamarisk trees,
with their gnarled twists of bark of their rough trunks,
growing near the little trenches of black water waste
exiting on the ground as grey water turned rank, from the shack's contrived outdoor canvas shower,
whose stagnant fumes
forever remain in my child's memory

the images of these memories stain our child eyes,
full of grace
only wanting
child's peace

a lot less noise then than today
the squawking of the chickens for their their newly laid eggs,
like music back then,
contrast to the din of chaotic media noise of today

it was only a little while we played back then,
so short a time we lived,
was way too long though, because they kept hurting you with abuse
it seems you were born for it

you tried to live,
you bothered no one
they beat you anyway
all you did was work

they wouldn't let you walk along without
invisible chains around your waist

it bothered them to let you be,
to make you part of their wretched misery

they wouldn't let you walk alone
they wouldn't let you be
they weren't content
they wanted to take you down the pit of remorse with them
they had to hurt you
just like they hurt everything else that moved across their path,
that wants to be left alone and live in peace

i wish you could have walked the silent trails,
the mountains you weren't allowed to see, or even touch,
they would have taken you in for you to breathe, the air surrounding their crests free and clear,
for you to see your reflection
in the clouds and in the sky

you tried to sneak a peek
because you weren't ever allowed to walk by rivers and take it all in,
you never even had tbe chance

you never knew what freedom meant,
to see your own reflection,
your face in placid mirrors of alpine lakes
and hear those waters say,
"I love the way you look. I love your face. Come in to me. I will wash you clean. I will love you where no one else did. Plunge into my depths."

instead you wallowed in the muddy waters of the world's sludge
in murky depths of imprisonment and punishment
like most of us, wanting waiting to be released

you just simply wanted
to be who you were
you never tried to conrol anyone,
but they always wanted to suck the life out of you

you were tossed on this prison planet along with the rest of us
i would step off of it too, if i could
something,
someone wants to hurt you

run,
you ran and they always caught you
and there's nowhere to run

you've got to fight for everything,
you fought for
food,
shelter,
even light
because the darkness chased you,
to swallow you in

you left your imprint on everything

i can hear your voice ring
a muffled chime in my head
your soft voice,
weak, like far away
but it's there,
like a lamb
i can still hear its bleating whisper

if I could, i'd bring you back
i'd die for you
i'd kill the wolf with my bare hands
i'd change the way things are

it's a new era now
the shacks have been replaced with the faux stucco
of new dwellings and things
but nothing's changed

loneliness bred by the onslaught of things to possess
and possess you

things are just more sophisticated now
cruelty has better disguises
some are more ruthless and it's harder to find them out
because they cloak themselves with money and the grid,
keeping themselves well hid

there's a thousand forks on all the trails that i've walked
without you
i don't know where you are now

i was lost just like you were back then
you're not here anymore,
i don' know if your still hanging around
i hope you found the way
your voice in the distance
or it echo from the far
maybe i left a worthy print of my own on things
worthy of your forgiveness

a new era is coming,
ushered in by a city of gold,
it'll seem like a dream
somehow i know i'll see you again

and i'll see you again standing at the base,
in the shade of the tree of life