i just want to be

for all the wasted time Lord
i apologize
for all the broken dreams,
i submit

for all the pain in which i came short to die,
i cry
in my empty, lonely soul,
when i am without you

i stare in wonder for the wanting,
to know and understand,
when i couldn't cry for all those who've died
or keep track
for my futility,
for my tears,
for my helplessness
i would have died
in a heap
a mass of flesh
and never risen

i thought, but time is short,
it went by quick
the page is just around the bend
to turn and close
it's through the front and final door,
it's filled

the days fly by as scattered leaves sweeping fast
past the blur
of the sea of lives
in the blowing wind,
some alive, some not

rushing past everything going, going fast,
no turning slow anymore

as i fast and faster go
i approach
no turning back beyond my feeble grasp

all the deeds
all the grays and blacks
all the good and the light
no thing new
under the sun is left

the summation of all the tragedies,
the adding up all that's happened,
the going down of the voices and the screams
the calmness and the quiet
the pains and joys
the wasted hours
the ways of work all, seem vain and empty

i sit here alone and think
i do just as i did before
and will do until the time comes,
like when i was first entered into this realm
my first breath of air and my last gasped,
loud or quiet

as i see the faces of the all that's past come to my memory
i wish to join them
as in,
i just want to be

i want to find the end and just be,
in a place forever peace

for all the things i left undone,
i apologize
even though i know,
i could never have done them all

for every unkind thing i thought and said and fed,
i let the water, cleansing fall
and wash

i let it now,
i submit, i let go,
i cannot do without you

let it sweep away
i let the wish for it
to carry me away,
with all of this,
i let go,
i submit

for every hate
that i let breathe, to cast out,
beside myself,
i could not do,
no matter how hard,
i could never do

i will not let it though,
like greed to take
to take me in,
or allow it in

i reject the mark of cain
my soul will not bear the stamp of the beast
of its head, or in any of my other many weakness be,
i shed

i say in this moment,
this weak in time,
i let unravel

i stand before you
as in,
i just want to be,
i want to find the end
and just be,
in a place forever peace,
i want to be with you