dry

my joints, the strings that hold them together
to muscle and bone, have weakened through the years,
they ache, these sinews and tendons
these hinges that flex and bend and tear
by the duress of gravity's stress
the wear by tension of a broken mind and heart
broken by push and shove and kick and punch
by the wearing away by life's duress
by each moment of the passing of time
toward the end of it
by the passing away of each one i've come to know
toward that end
knowing mine is next
and i've not done what i'd like to have done
not for want of will but for helplessness
subject to the law invisible in the universe

i lost my way
i lost my love
my jaw is stiff hardened by routine
no juice flows from the ripened grapes
no honey seeps from the hive of life

i wake stoic,
thirsty, wondering, seeking,
searching for solutions,
for answers to my simplest, deepest questions
i have found bits, some pieces
i will ever search until they come
the ones that matter most
that fuel my need to know until,
i will no longer feel the need to look for truth,
like a precious gem i've lost in the crevices of my travels 
by the pain of my hardship

my illusions i did not look for
my delusions i did not welcome
to violate my soul they broke down my door

for the gem of love and truth
i will wait 'til it comes in the quiet of my day
in my dream in the night
when i am contrite and humbled by my faults
i will lay myself down low
and wait 'til i'm lifted by the one who knows
what i seek to know

i will knock, 
i will plead, 
i will wait
i will lay down in the path of harm
there is no way around
like a lamb for the one who understands
for the weight to fall on him 
who knows what i'm looking for
the One who promises to show the truth
will show me

i've lost my love
the One who has and holds my love
will show me
it's still there, 
he will help me find it again