i can see

It seems just darkness all the time . . . 

somehow, i must paint back my sight,

i am blind to the light, blind to color, shape and form,

can't see a smile, or a frown, emotion or pain,

yet by feel, i sense the energy of things around me,

the pulsation of space and mass

i feel the presence of their physicality, 

the thoughts of those living beings around me

at times i stumble in the dark,

limited and helpless by immobility, but for human intervention

victimized i feel, at times i yield in weakness, despairing by the dark

outside of me, i wish for miraculous intervention,

inside of me, i yearn to see what those with eyes can see

i see no colors in my sleep, except for visions once or twice

in my life for decades, i seek visions from God

i've read and heard, women dream in color, more so than men

when i close my eyes at night to sleep, i see darkness in whites and grays

i close my eyes at the sight of violence in my dreams at times,

images vile, unsolicited, unprovoked, unjustified, nightmares bloody

perhaps they surface like the dross of the world's events, the bad

would that i were blind to that, the things i see in helpless sleep

those dreams i have of gentle things, i gladly see,

open my eyes for more, smooth and sweet like petals of a flower

creamy flows of lavender and rose i smell,

they, through my senses flow

i have the sight of gentle touch,

the love of friends and mine, that guides me by their light,

their voice like angels hear; they lift me from the lonely dark,

their love's light gives me sight, bathes me clean of sordid dreams

there is no day for me, the same the night it is by sound

i see by both, colors brilliant bright, by the moon or in the sun,

the one its chill or warm by summer or winter's cold,

my friends describe to me i'm told

the other by the heat, or red upon my eyes,

i feel its spot of light on my lids

i hear these sounds from human lips, they vibrate in my ears

some bring light, some are dark, surround me by their energy,

some are good, their light i choose

the sightless void, but for the sound, is one that i repeal

i feel for the ones who are both sightless and cannot hear

left alone without companionship or aid to live

i feel for those who see, but are blind,

who hear, but cannot hear or understand

i ponder those who cannot see, but play for others music they cannot hear

i find myself grateful sitting, hearing speech pierce my blindness

making me to see by my touch of their faces with my mind,

i see their light emanate from their hearts to mine

i feel wisps of air as i move about, they brush against my skin,

the myriad tones i hear, 

i catch in greater frequency than those who can see,

i am more attuned, each tone has a color,

sometimes more than one for each, at times a blend divine

pictures formulate for anger, peace, love, form for all emotion

i yearn for light that brings the blue of sky unconfined

yellow light, a fire in my mind, or white and bright as a linen cloth

green comes in from outside, like fresh grass on my naked feet

reflected on my skin from the sky to water crashing in the sea

when the brown of sand and hard cliff it meets

"the suffocation you feel for lack of light is understood," they said,

my loved ones, friends, and family dear, help me to find these hues,

they painted me with sight, supported lack of it with theirs

and also said, "allow the inner sight by joy for life to come back in,"

they helped to carry me in the worse of times and further said,

"fight against the dark, let the blue of an open sky come back in,

let's go outside, don't stay confined,"

"let the light of the green of grass and yellow sun of spring back in,

like a candle or a star,"

"let the red of love like valentine back in, like a kiss, warm and bright,

expel the fear and overcome it by light God has for you within,"

"let not suffocation by despair prevail; it will make your light less bright,"

"let your eyes see past and through the blinds,

then your vision will exceed that of those who see with mortal eyes,"

"the whiteness of light is the blend of all the spectrum's colors, revealed by natural light,

these may be warm, or hot, or in between, 

but never cold, never empty or alone,

they ride on waves of radiation, photon particles of energy,"

another kind of light is supernatural, above the natural, divine,

he will let you ride upon his everlasting love and guide you with his light

he will help you overcome despair; if you ask him,

he'll give you strength and confidence to see beyond the dark

my friend concluded, "I am the Light of the world,

I will never leave you or forsake you," and in so doing, helped me see