Visitation Intervention

another reality besides the material conscience is deeply involved in our own lives seeking our benevolent welfare, namely God

came home late one great
entertaining concert night
many whiskeys
many sounds
applauds
beautiful faces
magic music
resounding every nerve
every sense
every pixel on my pupils

collapsed on bed happy
oblivious unconscious
reawakened to sobs
my own
my wife woke me stirred me

wake up!
wake up!
why are you sobbing?

at the hem of another realm
borne of spirit
i know,
i had no doubt touched
vaguely aware 
a woman who sought him 
for her issue of blood
resolved with a talk
to my sin-weighted heart
though i cannot recall
i fully remember
me sobbing with words . . .

he died for me . . .
he died for me . . .
the sobs were gut
wrenching
shuddered my frame
convulsed my mind
it was profound pain
but absolute love
that broke and then melted
my vice
that had for years crushed
poisoned
twisted
perverted
me

over the years,
by grace it
could not
did not 
damn me
into believing an
insidious lie

stark,
blatant,
naked,

own justification
my own judge
own jury

delighted in joy
at my self acquittal
to pursue
my own lust
own self
destruction

like brazen narcissist
obsessed with reflections
of our own beauties
“my precious,
own treasures
deceptive,
splendorous
“You shall not die, 
your friend is a liar!”

denial of truth
even to 
death
Sarcastically read: “Oh, how noble”

in my sobs
divine intervention
to mere me
saving me
from me
can never describe
’cause i don’t know
it all 
what happened that night

i know that i know
that intervention
is real

ever since then it
the one
that devours
delicious human flesh
and precious human spirit
turns it to hate and destruction
hates all that is good
which some call energy
has appeared over and
over again

i have not succumbed
i am ecstatic 
to be free,
to be Alive