Marriage Spat

Every marriage can be painful but still mixed with romance growing provided caring hearts

in the morning "I will be gone," she said

i acknowledged and submitted and slept brokenly

my mind showed pictures to me 

unsolicited, intrusive, uncontrolled

i saw her when we first met,

her youthful, eye-shaking smile

her speckled cinnamon tan freckles 

on peaches 'n cream naked skin

i stirred awake, saw through the dark 

with bits of chrome light coming 

through the curtains to the empty full 

las vegas strip streets

below

i looked over at her form 

beneath the other twin bed, hotel bedroom sheets

my heart mourned quiet pain in my chest

living slowly dying death

at the memory of our tormented late night argument

the resolution conclusion manifested resignation constrained agreement

to part our separate ways

as I drifted, fought the urge for sleep yet

found myself inside the same sleep again who brought me

back to see her swinging on a swing, looking at me admiringly

i saw her reaching for, teasing laughing, crying for, 

after playing hard to get,

reaching for my hand and arm when she could have

reached for all the others instead of me

i stirred again, felt the broken heart in my own chest 

again how selfish me, hard not to blame me

self inflicted, self earned shame

for forgetting her for me,

as she lay in her own bed

three feet across lay from me, asleep or going through

the same as me

i thought what life would be without her 

in my sleep i woke again and stirred,

found myself in bed with mistress, iron loneliness 

she had me covered under her cold shivering sheets

who stupidly coerced my resolution 

i rebelled, refused to live without her, 

wife of my youth who in the morning when i listened 

heard her talking on the cell hidden in the bathroom

near across, but light years far, 

the strain was thick 

the rift was wide 

when she walked again

into the bedroom

i summoned, mumbled slid out of bed 

brushed near her familiar feminine, naked form 

silhouetted against the corridors

"good morning," 

my hiding self-conscious naked pain

with breath tense, held against my chest

feigned neutrality emotion's duress, stress owing

wistful praying, generously hoping 

clemency

she returned the greeting 

feeling as if i'd first met her, 

with amazed vigor she'd acknowledged me

a complete stranger never have met!

i continued to the mirror

refused to gaze on the man who'd hurt 

this beautiful woman,

mine, taken for granted, except for the pain

so willingly the night before in childish ways mine, 

my woman by choice, willingly, mutually lovingly ,

sometimes stupidly, so spitefully

as i showered, contemplated, pondered, introspected, reflected, 

grew elated at the prospect 

she'd once again forgiven me