Leave me not...

Leave me not...

Pitch black at 12
The lonely owl is on a hunting mission
Turning his head round and round
Sparkling big round eyes glares in the heaped folds of darkness
Trying to find prey
Mice, ants or snakes
What stands out is
Once again the familiar figures
His neighbours of the night

A close examination reports to Owl that the familiar figures are seemingly solitary souls
Having lost their way out of the cheer, laughter and a chance
To commit
To love
Be loved
Unlike owl they are too weak to find prey
Or is it what they are really looking for?

Observation 2

Apparently
Bent and broken,
Squashed and sucked,
Misery is writen on one's face and Regret on another's.
The souls meddle through the night
morning comes and they disappear

Transformation;

Both take cover under plastic smiles
Denying knowing each others trouble
Trying not to sympathise lest everyone will notice
However deep within the contours of the heart each soul cries
Ego has caused the world to forget about them
Not seeing the distance in the eyes of fellow breathren
The routine doesn't end
Once again the night comes

Day two, three, four and five...

Like a baby the souls crawled ,stood up and limped towards each other
The souls have leant to find comfort in each other
Warmth in each other's arms
Through the dark and through the cold
Till the next morning
But this time they don't cease to exist
Neither do they fake smiles
The sun shines on their faces

Transformation in the day has turned
Misery into happiness;
Regret turn into optimism;
Hearts plastered to mend
And real smiles.

Back in the night Owl continue searching for prey but this time the solitary souls have been replaced by giggling figures
Now the night observes the echoes of silence
a message of love that says leave me not.

R.changara

Author's Note

Looking forward to seeing your honest reviews about my poem.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I read your poem, then I read GB Banks review, then I re-read your poem . . . I did not catch "individualism vs collectivism" AT ALL! But that's what's great about these reviews . . . I learn as much from other reviewers as from the posted piece. Since you're new, I'll say some of us old-timers do not like to explain a poem in authors notes becuz it's fun to see all the different ways different perspectives come into play, when different people read our works. The thing that stands out about your poem is the tone. It sounds like a college lecture, where things are being explained. At first, I thought: this doesn't sound very lyrical, which is something I'm tuned into, with poetry. But as I read on, I started to appreciate your unusual approach of using explanation. Usually in poetry, things are explained in a round-about way, using imagery. For example, if you're crying, you write something about how the rain is dripping down the window pane & fogging up my view of the world, something like that. SHOW instead of tell. That's why I was not tuned in to your way of using an "explaining" approach. But it works becuz there's some fictional aspect of this that reminds me of some mad scientist from the universe observing some dumb struggling test specimens down on old planet earth. Sometimes I like putting human behavior under the microscope becuz it's so bizarre sometimes! All in all, your writing has a unique sound & I'll be looking to see if you are writing in different ways or if this is your "style" of poetry!?!?! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Poetrylover]

Hey barleygirl. Thank you for the review. I appreciate it and yes you are very right i tend to explain more in my poetry altho i am also interested in lyrical poetry and i am learning. I am working on some pieces now and i will definitely post them on this platform and would be looking forward to your reviews and all.

[tellus]

A great poem..i read and liked it very very much.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words and thoughts. I liked each set of lines. You made the reader understand and see in vision your words and thoughts. I liked the journey in the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Poetrylover]

Thank you. I appreciate your review!!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Poetrylover]

I appreciate your positive and lengthy review G.B Banks.

[G. B. Banks]

Very nice piece. Well phrased. Individualism and collectivism are always in a constant battle to balance each other out. The paradox is that neither can win an overall battle. As sometimes individualism is the best choice and sometimes collectivism. One thing remains constant. The human heart's thirst for togetherness. The line "a message of love that says leave me not" is very powerful and superb line. And says it all that humans are not solitary beings. And the way it is phrased is also very cool. As the "leave me not" part starts with a push away and then a pull back with the negation. To me it says that people love individualism but it carries with it a certain amount of loneliness and that's why people yearn to be bothered and that is so well phrased in these few words "leave me not". Thanks for sharing.