8. A Way out of the Night

Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind. Nathaniel Hawthorne

It’s not the shadows

nor the sounds in the night

that I fear,

 

and even if I can’t place them

or put a name on it,

in my head, they write me

a way out of the night

in myself.

 

I dress them

without anxiety with reality,

a fixed form, a voice

that I want to recognize.

 

It’s the morning and the light

that feeds my fears

and let my heartbeat stop.

 

It’s the day that I still

have to conquer.

 

© Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere

26/12/2014

music: http://www.purple-planet.com/

Author's Note

Reviews

[TheRaven]

KWP has solid points with the look of the word 'that'. Read it and wonder if you need it. I don't think you do. Often times if you go through a piece, the word 'that' is fine being discarded and will read better without it. Also, it will prove to be stronger. There's a lot of undiscovered potential in this piece. There's more to it than simply being about escaping the night and into the day, it's a strong piece about life in itself. I sense a person who needs to learn how to thrive within the regular of the day, someone who struggles with depression perhaps or other sorts of addictions. They thrive in the night life, but everything else eludes them and prevents them from having a happier life. It's easy to sleep through the darkness, but the brightness of day provides harsh truths and challenges which must be overcome.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

You can't guess how right you really are with this review, TheRaven. And of course also for the word 'that', I have to learn to delete it more often. Thanks again for reading all these writings. I've learned a lot, not only about my poetry but also about myself. It spares me a psychiatrist (LOL) .:) Rudi

[KWP]

You have the makings of a great poem here. I sense your thoughts are deepening along this journey called life. I feel this work could be improved immensely by deleting the word 'that' - it's not needed at all, it's a distraction no less. A good writer will express their words with the barest of bones easily. Two other words I feel need a revamp are 'still' and 'want'. They do not inspire the reader to for an image, urge or desire to trundle even deeper than they level they stand at right now. Another 'and' ahhh ... do you need it, would your writing not be a lot more concise and delectable without this stopping point of a word?

These are my own words and if you find them useful on your journey then by all means keep them, if not, well cast them out and breathe into the next moment with ease :) ... much love X

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, KWP, for the input. Mather-of-factly, it means a great deal to me. I'll alway have the handicap of English being not my native language and even in my stories, I write I have to delete the word 'that' in sentences. Thanks again for thinking how my writing could become better. :) Rudi

[KWP]

yes I was thinking that English is your second language as I wrote my review :-) and I admire you all the more for writing so well in Engish ...

I read something recently about writers having certain words they fall back on and quite often overuse ... I know when I write stories I use 'because' and 'but' way too often - it becomes terribly boring to read :-) X

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

I understand, KWP, I'll certainly will be more aware in the future. Thanks for the nice comment on my English. :) Rudi

[Cassie]

I agree that every day has challenges of its own and sometimes the challenges are too much we have no choice but conquer and rise above those challenges

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Cassie, for your wise words. Have a good day. :) Rudi

[Coyote Poetry]

True and honest wisdom in these words.
"It’s the day that I still
have to conquer."
The day bright true battle. The night is gone. Thank you Rudi for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thanks, John. Sometimes the day shows us the real monsters in life. :) Rudi

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and you are welcome Rudi.