Camera Obscura

A 'scream' is always just that - a noise and not music. Carl Jung

I’m dying every night,

a moment in the shadow

of a grinning moon,

a count in the sneaky gliding

of a cloud upon the light

 

my thought is a hobo

on the sound of a craw,

I’m closing the brightness

doubt after doubt,

 

the sharp of their edges

stripped of any kind of reason

is cutting as a knife in these sounds,

 

out of my throat falls a scream

into a dark and silent room,

I disappear in the waves of the tide

in this dream that I have

of a sleep that is waxing.

 

© Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere

26/11/2014

If you want to hear the poem be recited, click on the large window of Soundcloud. Enjoy   :)  Rudi

Author's Note

Reviews

[....................]

the image of a grinning moon is quite the haunting one... it's not a smile but a grin, an evil, greasy grin that is telling of its motive, the motive of the coming darkness, gliding on that cloud... a scream disappearing into the tide... great poetry, Rudi... wonderful imagery and atmosphere... i feel the barometric pressure dropping... a storm approaches!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, FT, for reading and such a beautiful comment. Have you the possibilities to listen to the reciting of the poem? (beneath the text click on the large window and you will hear the eerie atmosphere of the poem) :) Rudi

[....................]

yes, i did, Rudi... the hall reverberation in the voice, and the way in which you speak above the sounds adds great atmosphere to the write... well done

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, FT, for also listening to the poem. :) Rudi

[....................]

my pleasure, Rudi!

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing verbal poetry my friend. Always a pleasure to read your words. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, John, always glad to read your comments. I'm happy you liked this one. :) Rudi

[Coyote Poetry]

I did. I'm a fan of mystery and dangerous places.

[R Smith]

this has a really dark quality, the scream of a life in decline, i guess that's my interpretation but it keeps bringing to mind the painting by Edvard Munch, The Scream, it would make a superb poem to that art :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Richard. I've played with the idea, you know, so I'm glad that you mention it. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :) Rudi

[KWP]

you are very good at painting a picture for the reader ... i feel darkness all around and a scraping beneath the surface to regain control of a new reality ... in all of the wretchedness night after night there is still no escape ... nice X

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, KWP, for passing by and reading my poem. Glad you liked it. Have a good weekend. :) Rudi

[Michelle Coleman]

Wow. Love. Love. Love. It is poetry like this that keeps me coming back for more.

These are my favorite lines.
"A moment in the shadow of a grinning moon"
"my thought is a hobo on the sound of a craw"

Very relatable.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Michelle, for reading and your kind remarks. I'm glad you liked it, it's really appreciated. :) Rudi

[anne]

Imagery is beautiful like each of yours.. the theme is connecting, leaves deep impression.. few of the lines are perfect.. this one is dreamy, gorgeous, bitbhaunting and wise.. great work Rudi.. :))

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Anne, for reading and commenting on my poem. Glad you liked it. Have a good day. :) Rudi

[Rene Salinas]

Like a descending Vortex. The recognition that we die every night! It is such a strong thing to say. If based on the realities of a cleansing process that it very good indeed! If meant as something different then it still stands out strongly. As the journey appears to be by done by honesty and humbleness there also seems to appear a much needed moment of questioning. Everything up inthe air! Sort of thing...
It is exasperating. Oh I share with you that moment. Just when you think you might be getting closer, that moment when you realize, you're close yet so far! Another lesson learnt, Another moment of been put down as if night descended the gloaming of day commencing.

The weaving through the sleeping stanges.

Very dreamy

Thankyou

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you so much Rene. It's indeed the feeling of dying that I describe. But your review gives it an extra dimension. I'm so glad you liked this one, it's alway a confirmation when when one of the best reviewers gives a positive comment. Thank you again. :)

Rudi

[Rene Salinas]

Oh man Rudi! Just a common man... I just enjoy sharing the journey of the wirters and support as much as I can. We still breathe the same air though Belgium you have great beer and nice chocolates so maybe afterall I envy you a little.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Okay, I understand and indeed we have the best beer and chocolate ( in my opinion). thank you anyway :)
Rudi

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you would never know this is not your native language, you have quite the command of it...

i like how the "scream falls"---and "my thought is a hobo on the sound of a craw"---fascinating line...

we can doubt ourselves into a frenzy, and the result is never good.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Jacob. This means a great deal to me. Glad you liked it. :)

Rudi

[willweb]

This was very well written. It had depth and a certain darkness that flowed from your words. I really enjoyed reading this today.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, for your nice and favourable comment. I'm glad you liked it. :)
Rudi

[Confuser]

I enjoyed it. It pulled me in; the dream was quite frightening; in my minds eye, the imagery quite beautiful, and kept reading to see what would happen.
I’m dying every night,
a moment in the shadow
of a grinning moon,
a count in the sneaky gliding
of a cloud upon the light....quite beautiful, especially considering English not being your native languange.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Confuser, glad you liked it. In poems it's less difficult in my humble opinion. In stories I think grammer and native words choice is more important, prepositions and so, not my strongest point I know. And still I write stories and translate them, it's a good practice for my English. :)

[Confuser]

I attempted a story last week and it was all over the place. I may re-write, a poet and writer Stonze? I think, GREAT writer gave me points. Bye.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

I don't know the name, but if you get suggestions from a good writer, you can always learn from it, I think. So if you can learn me some things, don't be shy, I appreciate it. Bye, Dale. :)

Rudi

[Confuser]

Y/W..............................................................................D