3. In the Dark

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Plato

He slumbers in the dark

of doorways

his eyes burn into me

just as a cigarette mark.

 

A church bell

misses the beats of my heart

ticked by, ticked away in fright.

 

Street corners

become wide bows now.

 

Bent outwards

light has been sucked

out of the shadow

of the night.

 

You can see him in my eyes

he is watching me

you can hear him in my cries.

 

© Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere

09/11/2014

music: www.bensound.com

Author's Note

Reviews

[TheRaven]

A church bell misses the beat of my heart --- I really loved that part right there. Probably because the choice of the word 'misses' is very effective. Almost like the protection of God and religion, light will not protect the heart in the darkness. Foreboding in its own way.

I swear your voice can make a lot of things good simply by reading them. I'd listen to you reading the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey or Twilight to be honest. I'd probably be super entertained by the glory of it. LOL.

Sometimes however, I think this is written too simplistic and vague. Vagueness can be great, it can make or break a piece in certain cases. But I do enjoy this, it makes me wonder who 'he' is that slumbers in the dark of doorways. Paranoia? Fear? Perhaps both. Perhaps the narrator himself, afraid of his own being. You can see him in his eyes, "see him in my eyes"; that was an interesting choice. Watching from within. The dark side of his nature. Quite literally the darkness inside. Some things may have felt too cliche or too simple for me, but you do indeed have your tone down. This was by no means a bad piece, it was very pleasant. Hearing you read it gives me twice the enjoyment I get simply by reading it myself.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you again, for this large and favorable review, TheRaven. Can learn a lot from it. :) Rudi

[BL]

A great piece of poetry that covers a more unusual subject, but you have covered it well

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Be, for reading and reviewing my poem. :) Rudi

[Lydia Shutter]

Foreboding and ominous....I could picture the scene and wanted to run from the shadows into the light to get away from "him." Powerful imagery. Well written. Lydi**

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, Lydi, for reading and commenting. Een goed weekend gewenst. :) Rudi

[Lydia Shutter]

Hetzelfde!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thanks, Lydi.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poetry and tale is amazing. I will return tonight and read more. This is very cool. A different form of style for you. I like myth, mystery and good tale. This had them all. Thank you Rudi for sharing your amazing stories.
Coyote

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thank you, John, for reading this collection of poetry. It's a collection of all my dark poems, a bit 'Poe'ish writing, but in the 'shadow' of his wings because I'm very aware he is a master in this category of poetry. That's why I've called my collection 'Under the wings of the Raven. Thank you again and have a good weekend, my friend. :) Rudi

[Coyote Poetry]

They are very good and you are welcome.

[emmajoy]

Oh my, this really makes your poem jump up and hit the senses.. 'he' i watching you from within.. that is so... scary.. and very specific.. good.. imaginative..

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Thanks, Emma for reading and commenting. :) Rudi