I just 'discovered' this-- I quite like its tone, and some of the lines work very well: '...joy...baked.. in the wall', 'heart stops.. end of my soul'. And you posit a universal question that seems to afflict many: why do people fear both death and life?
I think I sense a certain hesitancy in your lines-- perhaps because English is your 2nd language (though you are more fluent than most native speakers). And I think it might have been interesting to start the poem with the last two lines, but maybe I'm wrong.
As a young man 45 years ago I 'experienced' my soul when I almost drowned and had what 's come to be known as an NDE, or near-death experience. (The curious thing is that the soul --when it's conscious of itself, exists in the moment, without beginning or end-- just as our 'mortal' consciousness does-- we can't remember being born so it seems like we've always been alive. Of course, we 'know' we're going to die, but who really believes that?
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for this review and your thought about 'the soul'. Means a great deal to me. :) Rudi
I just 'discovered' this-- I quite like its tone, and some of the lines work very well: '...joy...baked.. in the wall', 'heart stops.. end of my soul'. And you posit a universal question that seems to afflict many: why do people fear both death and life?
I think I sense a certain hesitancy in your lines-- perhaps because English is your 2nd language (though you are more fluent than most native speakers). And I think it might have been interesting to start the poem with the last two lines, but maybe I'm wrong.
As a young man 45 years ago I 'experienced' my soul when I almost drowned and had what 's come to be known as an NDE, or near-death experience. (The curious thing is that the soul --when it's conscious of itself, exists in the moment, without beginning or end-- just as our 'mortal' consciousness does-- we can't remember being born so it seems like we've always been alive. Of course, we 'know' we're going to die, but who really believes that?
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for this review and your thought about 'the soul'. Means a great deal to me. :) Rudi
I believe this is one of your finest. Bravo! The introspection is made modest in the face of those monumental questions. There is a serene humility in this powerful poem.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you, Delmar, for reading an reviewing. Glad you liked it, really appreciated. :) Rudi
You have asked questions that leave me wondering...what is a soul? Quite thought provoking and so very well written Rudi. It is always a pleasure to read you.
:) Julie
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the nice comment. Have a good day, Julie. :) Rudi
Just to be sure I’ll go somewhat deeper
till I meet the smallest cell and then still a bit further,
maybe I see in my genes
why I’m afraid of death,
and frightened to live fully my life?
The poem is really Great and made me also asked to myself about those questions. Well done ^_^
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you, Ashadan, my poem has served his purpose if it made you thinking. Have a excellent day. :).. read moreThank you, Ashadan, my poem has served his purpose if it made you thinking. Have a excellent day. :) Rudi
I really enjoyed this. Normally with the technical, fancy words such as amino acids and dendrites and synapses, etc, would turn me off to a poem like this. I'm intelligent, but I don't have a broad vocabulary as I wish I did. However, this time it didn't harm my liking. I was able to understand and follow along as if I knew what they meant. I still felt the wonder behind your words, and followed the flow. It's definitely a piece that makes you think; no one knows what the soul really is. It is one of those questions that everyone asks at some point in their life. Very nice read, Rudi, thank you for sharing :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for this great review, RiverRei. Glad you liked this one too. Have a good day. :) Rudi
This is wonderful. One of your best. Thoughtful and beautifully written. Although you look deeper and deeper perchance you look in the wrong direction. Have you tried looking in all the space surrounding and in between matter, particles and throbbing force fields?
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I've given so many ideas for where to look, I think I'll be busy for the rest of my life. Thank you .. read moreI've given so many ideas for where to look, I think I'll be busy for the rest of my life. Thank you for your comment and wise words, Lily. :) Rudi
very good Rudi, 'who am I' keep asking yourself that one in meditation the results if done properly can be outstanding but that's a long road to go down, i once read a book that defined the soul as an atom called the Nous atom which exists in the heart and upon death of the body you will weigh a fraction less than before death as the atom has departed, can't say i subscribe to that view but it was interesting, for me the soul is equivalent to the sub-conscious as the ego is equal to the consciousness, they are our personal God and Devil, one strives for us to search within the other strives for us to seek out the world, possessions and the like, an inspiring write my friend :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you, Richard, for your inspiring answer and review. I've also heard about that atom and that t.. read moreThank you, Richard, for your inspiring answer and review. I've also heard about that atom and that theory. Maybe I can put it in my testament, that they have to weigh me an hour before and an hour after I've died. I'm curious, but I guess I only will know it after I'm dead. :) Rudi
yes Rudi a great idea with as you say just one slight drawback, best just wait till your gone i'm su.. read moreyes Rudi a great idea with as you say just one slight drawback, best just wait till your gone i'm sure everything will be revealed then :)
9 Years Ago
I look at my weight every week and the last months I've won a lot of soul I think (I only say this b.. read moreI look at my weight every week and the last months I've won a lot of soul I think (I only say this because my wife can't hear me or she would surely have the answer for my overweight :) Rudi
I've just answered to Richard, that it is a pity that I'll only know after I've died, I'm not anxiou.. read moreI've just answered to Richard, that it is a pity that I'll only know after I've died, I'm not anxious to know, but I'm still a bit curious. :) Rudi
9 Years Ago
well rudi ,I think we can wait for the answer,i`m curious but not that curious lol
I'm from Belgium. English is not my native language, but I like to read English poems and books. I have written a lot of Dutch poems during the last forty years. With some of them I've got prizes in B.. more..