No title. just eternal emptiness

An old poem from 12 years ago.

I can't remember

how it felt

when you were here;

Taking up my time

filling up my heart...

sucking out my soul. 

My only love

my greatest fear

torn an tangled.

Intertwined with every

twist and pull 

of life

Driving the hate into 

my heart. 

More than a dagger

More than a poison

More than a person.

Then my everything

every element

my emotional stability

jerked out,

Suddenly 

My marble statue of 

Pride and honor

vanished

Now unexpected torment

I was supported 

only

by visions of you

and me. 

They quickly dropped me 

through myself

out myself

and I fell

into the pits of hell

There I will reamain

the devil's w***e

forever.

Not dead,

but living only for the 

thought of death,

I release my pain and torment 

as a silent tear

that makes pilgramage 

down my cheeks

only to find a breast heavy

with sorrow.

Barely beating,

my broken heart. 

Trust

Trust is something I know not

Allowing someone to see you

as you truely are. 

To rise up that curtain of death

and shout

"I am Lazarus!

Come from the dead!

I was dead

and now I live.

But then to realize

How I hate myself

despised and neglected.

Trust...

is love. 

I could no more love

and empty beach or 

leave lost tree

than I could love this self. 

I am Beelzebub's concubine.

Loathing and misery are my lungs

Jealousy my brain

and perseverance my heart. 

I have no hope. 

Reviews

[ANTO]

It doesnt come much darker than this Ruby. And while some people deserve to dwell in darkness I dont feel that this is the case with the speaker - the self loathing is very sad. Powerful phrases here seem to condemn too - "Beelzebub's Concubine' - I was blown away by that phrase.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

I like it so much. Thanks for sharing.

[AaronFreitas]

What a great poem... so you have always been a great writer since this was from 12 years ago.... good work my friend :)