Iain

Oops, cared too much about a boy in the navy

Here you are
Strong arms
holding me
kissing me sweet
and there you go.

I don't know what to do now.
I can still feel you
Still smell you
You are on my pillows and sheets.
I love you, a little bit.

Smart boy. Handsome boy.
Teasing me with your words
and making me want more.

All while you're going away.
I hate this a little bit.
And I love you a little bit more.

Let's go back to the bedroom
it's our home
it's what you want
from me
Maybe it's the only thing you want
from me

Crying and asking you to stay
but you go
anyway.

Fine then.
I will be strong
I will be fine, in the end.
We do what we have to.
I will always remember.

Reviews

[Joshua McNay]

I really liked this. You know based on my attempt at poems the style I go for. Reading this though has me rethinking how I write them. I was moved by the visuals put in front of me and I was able to place myself in those shoes, and I enjoyed what I felt when I did that.

[Saddam]

We do what we have to.
I will always remember.

Heartbreaking poetry. Nicely done dear.............

[R Smith]

A sad poem of heartbreak but from this negative tale comes a positive poem, make use of life and you will always be a great writer RubyOmma seems your already there.

[Briana O'Connor]

This piece is very emotionally vast. The mood is very clear and vivid. Your words flow perfectly. One thing i will say is the very last stanza about the dogs...seemed really random...did I miss something? lol

[RubyOmma]

You're right. I kind of tend to always throw a dog line in there somewhere but it sounds better without it. I'll change it. :)

[Briana O'Connor]

lol you don't have to change it on my account

[RubyOmma]

I love a good editing comment when it makes it better. I have a dog Ruby Sue (Thus Ruby Omma - I live in south korea and in korean it means Ruby's mom. It's a nickname here since not many people have dogs. I think you're right, it does sound better more simply to match the rest of it. Thanks for the good advice.

[Briana O'Connor]

Glad my confusion could help lol

[yuki]

this is really emotional and I can read the flow easily very nicely done :)

[Ashira Macy]

Aw sadness. =( I liked the monologue throughout the poem. It is her thoughts throughout their relationship and though she knows it won't last she is still attached and can't help but love him. Very beautiful.

[KK]

Not my typical structured poem but, I enjoyed it.

[ke]

I like your writing style, very thoughtful. The fact that it is not a typical poem that rhymes, shows that you have great vocabulary and you are very creative. Nice job.

[Mockingbird]

maybe the inevitability of foreclosed gratification makes the desire of a connection irresistible. we give our bodies willingly to leave an indelible mark, but we lose a little part of ourselves. the loss is great enough to make that small span of time with them intense and memorable. your words flow flawlessly and speaks to those of us who have experienced the same thing. i like your passion and honesty. excellent job.

[shruthi]

I am obessesd wid ur poems yar.... i jus love them extremely amazin lines especially the first stanza.....!!!!
thanks fr sharing