The Gown With The Slit Down The BAck

A Poem by Jollynoblefrog

A light humorous look at hospital attire

Last night at the local hospital
Where I went for a panic attack
I must tell you my dignity suffered
From a gown with a slit down the back

Put one on, said the kind nurse who helped me
There are fresh ones hanging there on that rack
There’s no need to worry about sizing
They fit all …there’s a slit down the back

Disbelieving I picked me a blue one
To discover alas and alack
That a strong breeze was kissing my fanny
In that gown with the slit down the back

Now that same nurse she took me a walking
From that dressing stall ...yes it's a fact
Then I felt just like all eyes were just staring
At me with that slit down the back

I could swear I heard one woman giggle
For my posterior muscle, in fact
Was as shiny as any new quarter
In my gown with the slit down the back

Not the front of that gown… not a problem
Of material there was no lack
But the designer... he must have forgotten
To sew up that seam in the back

I can only thank God that my children
Couldn’t see from those chairs in the back
The strange spectacle I was presenting
In my gown with the slit in the back

Now…I sure hope if I leave for heaven
They’ll send with me the suitcase I’ve packed
For I’m sure I’d be one funny angel
In a gold robe… with a slit down the back