When the hornets swarmed around your head
and your thoughts hovered somewhere underneath the cloud—
when the shouts of the mob were reduced to a low incessant buzz
and for all your swatting it would not stop—
when you were strumming out flat chords and driving out to nowhere,
looking distractedly for the electric light at the end of somewhere—
when the snow could not possibly stop falling and the wind
could not stop blowing you into drifts that wouldn’t stop drifting—
when counterfeit bills fell like rain and bounced off your palms onto the tiles,
where rats came and carried them away in their teeth—
when your throat was aching with injustice and your lungs
with unstoppable nightmares that stopped you from laughing—
when cuts closed but bruises had no time to heal
and layered black on top of purple on top of yellow—
when you heard your name being called from the back kitchen door
(it was actually me screaming from a hundred miles away)—
You said you felt like saving the world and blowing it up—
and I think I almost knew exactly what you meant.