Silent words

This is for those who have a silent voice.

I struggle to pick up the words floating like clouds above me. Someone has said something that triggered an innate need in me to reply. I look for the most eloquent words, for I don’t want my conversation partners to think I am rude. The search is endless, as words I never even used before keep popping up in my face. Like glittering stars, the words I felt most relieved holding, shone differently than the others. It took time for this collection of words to gel with each other. This has somehow made me feel a certain warmth in my heart. I proceeded then to coloring these words with my brush, giving each and every one of them a meaning. I imagine along the way how I should pronounce every letter and keep in mind that I should clearly enunciate every word.

I knew now what I had to say. But suddenly, darkness shrouded my work of art. I grew anxious about my conversation partners’ reaction and so did some of the words lose their colors. I remembered then how they always mocked me for being silent. I knew I had to change but I couldn’t. This was my chance to give my rusty vocal chords a shake and satisfy this urgent need of communication. I muster up all the courage I can and when I finally open my mouth to spell what I want to say, the words evaporate along with my breath. The conversation topic has already changed.