12-16-07

a pretty emotional part in my life. But I'd rather be open about myself and my experiences than keep them bottled up. its a rather unhealthy habit of mine. So I thought I'd put these on here.

12-16-07

My cornerstone is leaving
My life is screaming "Gimme More"
Your talking trash, he's being an A*s
"Gimme More"
I'm doing nothing about it
and my senses are screaming  "Gimme More"

Cause too much is never enough

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

12-16-07

Everythings clearer when
the worlds in havoc, your
eyes open in your mind and
the lights turn on. Making
me feel crazy when I see
this, but I can't stop it
I want it

Reviews

[Roxie Martelli]

ah, WC messed up the post I had. I appreciate your input, its needed. I agree, it is angsty. I think thats why I posted it to be honest with you. Despite the fact that its dripping with Teen Angst, there's an honesty within it. However...untactful it may come across. I posted it not because it was my best work, on the contrary, not even one of my favorite pieces, but I posted it because I felt that I needed to have contrast in my library of works I suppose. I want my work to be diverse, and real. Not just posting what I think is the absolute best, but posting pretty much everything to show contrast between what I feel is good, and even the stuff I feel isn't that great.

Thanks for the review.
Best of Days,
Roxie

[J. A. Svercek]

I found the first bit a tad angsty, but I liked the second part. There's an originality to the phrasing, and a clarity with which the words present themselves (I feel like I should be saying more, but I am tired). However, I suppose in a sense the first part provides sharp emotion and contrast to the second bit, which is crucial.

Thanks for writing,
J.