Soap

Pain. 

tears from the eyes.

broken ties.

running out of that place.

an empty space.

hopes so high.

nothing hurts more than soap in the eyes.

Reviews

[Max Watt]

Well, it cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh. Perhaps "tears" would be better than "crying".

It's quite ambiguous actually, I'm really starting to think there's depth here, "broken ties" hmmmm. Yep, the more I think about it the more I fall in love with it, I'm trying to bridge the gap between the last line and the rest of it...I'm thinking hard. As a result of that, you've done your job as a poet. Wonderful.

[Bad Poetry]

thanks for the great advice i'll change it right now.

[Raef C. Boylan]

This is a good piece. I can't work out whether the final line is a deliberate anti-climax for comedic effect or something kind of profound. Nicely structured rhyme.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I can think of quite a few things worse than soap in the eyes...but I didn't visit to argue the point. It's simple and short and for the brevity of it you have expressed your thoughts well. That's what counts. Well done.

[Sola]

I enjoyed the manner in which you built this piece up, made it seem as though the injury was that of some horrid origin, and then concluded with a pain that I'm sure most everyone is familiar with, nicely done.

[Elvis Gilley]

That's a memory from childhood. Great job...

[rnuff]

wow deep and emotional

[Harley Rose]

This looks like something you would read in a book, The Light in The Attic, or, Where the Sidewalk Ends... I love your use of something everyone has experienced (soap in the eye) while still connecting to the older generation by eluding it to lost dreams and hope...

[Tex]

very cute write. btw I love your screen name...

soap could be a substitution for a bad relationship.

very nice write.