Unfair

I lie

It hurts to tell the truth

I cry

It hurts to keep in the tears

I sigh

It hurts when no one listens

I die

It hurts when no one cares

She lied

But I knew the truth

She cried

I knew I couldn't help

She sighed

I was trying to listen

She died

She thought I didn't care

Why must a life be so unfair?

Now i meet everyday with a glare

The deadly necklace she chose to wear

Has placed me in a constant state of despair.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

......oooooooooh!!!! This is virtual perfection! I only have a qualm with one line and that's the last line of Stanza 1. There's no antecedent of anyone "car[ing]" and the last line of Stanza 2 specifies "she thought", so it would actually be more powerful if the line went "it hurts when no one cares"....doubly so, for not only does it complement and bear concordance with the rest of the poem, it has a sweet and powerful "dialogue" with the previous line (in reference more to the line before "I die"). This in otherwise fantastic. It leaves room for interpretation and it paints a great picture of solemnity and soulfulness that simply tugs at the reader's heart. Well done! (the none rhyming longer lines in the first two stanzas make for a nice touch).

[Rosie McQzy]

The advice you gave is phenomenal, Thank you so much!

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.