If a Tree Falls in a Forest

If a tree falls in the forest

And there's no one there to hear it

Does it still make a sound?

If I scream at the top of my lungs

But you ignore my voice

Was I ever truly in pain?

If someone is shot

But you plug your ears to the sound

Did the bullet really break flesh?

If someone is sad

But you never see their tears

Are they honestly suffering?

If a person is dead inside

But their scars are hidden to you

Do they sincerely struggle?

If a woman is raped

But she never says a word to you

Did it ever really happen?

If you never see the sun rise

Do we always live in darkness?

If we never meet

Do you exist?

Do I?

If a tree falls in the forest

But there's no one there to hear it

Does it still make a sound?

More like:

If bad things happen in the world

If people are killed

Countries destroyed

Families torn apart

And dignity destroyed

But we never witness it first hand

If we are not the victims

If the war is not in our backyards

Should we care?

  

Reviews

[Wuji]

This is incredibly original, philosophical and has social merit beyond the scope of most poetry. I found it a valuable exercise in perception and meaning. It has a certain post-modern element to it that made it stand out in the festival. Thanks for entering such an enlightening and inquisitive piece.

[The Great Below]

Wow, this poem really made me think and am sure has made others think.
Beautiful work.

[T. N. Hodges]

I really enjoy the question/answer play through this work. Although some of these phrases are a familiar tune, the mix of original thought gives it great play.

One light critique, which might be more of a personal preference, would be to switch some of the "if" usage with "when". For example:

"when you never see the sun rise
Do we always live in darkness?"

I think this would give such a strong boost to already powerful questions. It will also engage the reader with not only IF this were to happen to you, but WHEN it happens to you.

I hope this was helpful. I really enjoyed the read. Continue to write!!

[Rose Diamond]

Thank you very much, I'll keep your suggestion in mind. To be honest, word choice isn't my greatest strength, so this advice is really helpful! :)

[T. N. Hodges]

Glad I could help!

[Christyn Jeffries]

The apathy you write about seems to be pervasive in our society. You are so right! I there was a starving child on someone's doorstep, that person would most likely do everything in their power to help the child. But if he or she is just another statistic from halfway around the world, she/he no longer matters.

[M. L. Zane]

I love a good literary Doppler effect. Anyway, I think your language and imagery is pretty spot on, but you ought to shorten the language a bit. With poetry that asks an indirect question to your reader, you flirt with the possibility of conversing with them. Every word is like a sip of coffee across the table, so I would change some (but for the love of everything not all!) of your language to reflect a face to face chat. If you need me to be more specific, I shall happily do so, though I cannot promise my response will be timely. Oh, and consider cutting "I hate that question". Let us find out your hatred after seeing it first hand, rather than upfront. It gives it a little bit of mystery.

[Rose Diamond]

Thank you, that was really helpful. Haha, I do have a tendency to make my sentences and verses too long!

If you could be a bit more specific with what you would change, I would very much so appreciate it! :)

[M. L. Zane]

Ask and you shall receive. All right, the best example I can offer is your usage of "truly". "Truly" is a beautifully poetic word...but you are talking of the modern world's epidemic of not caring. The language needs to be curt, and reflect the same cruelty you are exposing. Instead of "Do you truly exist?" why not just "Do you exist?" Less words are always seen as more powerful, and the purpose of this piece is to inspire guilt and chill your readers to the bone. You are passionate about this topic, and you view the plague of apathy as a very dangerous problem. So...do you exist? :)

[Rose Diamond]

I like that! Thanks, I'll be sure to edit that, it sounds much better!

[M. L. Zane]

It was my pleasure. If you'd ever like me to look over more of your work, feel free to friend request me or send me read requests. I'm a bit technologically inept, but I specialize in helping existing writers improve their skills, and I would love more chances to network. Oh, and would you mind reading some of my work in my profile? Run Iscariot is an outdated draft, but additional suggestions and commentary is *always* appreciated. I might have missed something during my revisions.

[Rose Diamond]

I would love to review your work!

[M. L. Zane]

Thank you very much. I will always return the favor. Apologies if this posted twice. Technologically. Inept.