Scars

I just want to put a trigger warning on this for anyone who has ever self-harmed

Criss Cross

Criss Cross

Up and down her arms

Criss Cross

Criss Cross

Eight fading scars

Criss Cross

 Criss Cross

She hid them all in shame

Criss Cross

Criss Cross

Each one has a name

The first one's name is 'ugly'

The second's name is 'baby'

Both of which are small and crude

Shallow, red, and shaky

The third one goes by 'w***e'

Quite a cleaner cut

We call the fourth one 'emo kid'

The fifth one's name is 's**t'

The sixth one is christened 'Gothic b***h'

The seventh 'f*g' and 'gay'

She's sewn her mouth

stitch by stitch

But theirs' went on all day

The eighth one hurt her the most

That I guarantee

They told her to go kill herself

And she almost did proceed

But she took a moment for herself

Put away the knife

And in that second she could see 

The beauty in her life

The bluebirds humming their heavenly hymn

The flowers in full bloom

The twinkling stars when the sky is dim

The romance of the moon

  Criss Cross

Criss Cross

Each is a battle she had won

Criss Cross

Criss Cross

Her story's just begun  

Reviews

[WhereItResides]

Very good poem. It flowed nicely and you didn't overdo the repetition. It does a good job at painting a picture on just what bullying can do to people. I do believe the emotion switch at the end happened just a little to suddenly. It took me out of the zone for just a moment, it just needs a smoother transition. Beyond that, the poem and message were both wonderful.

[Anna Seraphim]

I adore this. I understand self-injury because I've struggled with it for years. I loved that each of the scars had a name. The repetition was perfect.

[A. Amos]

I love poems that make me feel something, and this did. Beautiful title too

[Kevin]

I too have relapsed with self harm and this poem is just amazing. I love that there's light at the end of this. Amazingly written

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing and powerful poetry. I like the use of repetition and the purpose for the poem. I like the words "Criss cross." Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Words can sting us. Better to leave the naysayers in the dust.
Coyote

[Rod Dangers]

Honestly, i had chills when i read this. I am currently battling self harm, and recently relapsed after 50 days clean. I love the positive at the end of this and as i was reading i was hoping for some light at the end and you didnt disappoint. Well written and relatable.

Thank you for sharing.

[nozone]

A comic said of Richard Pryor “He did soul surgery on stage”. Art reveals, you paint who you are, have been, boldly and with delicate detail in shades of weakness strength and hope. Each reader finds a piece of themselves in this image. You cross that distance between us, which is what fine artists do. Thank you

[M. L. Zane]

The first thing I have to say is the most obvious. The last five lines just don't do it for me. You've already given a hopeful ending with your 'romance of the moon'. You don't need to say it twice. Let it end with a beautiful image, much like the final shot in a movie. Otherwise, it weakens your message. You've done a fine job with repetition, but it has reached the climax with your moon scene.

You also may want to put a warning to a potential trigger to this poem. Though I have moderate doubts that it will awaken dark and terrible memories to some that may be harder to bear than they signed up for. Mind you, I *doubt* it will be a problem, but it is a minor courtesy and precaution that won't detract from your work. In plain English, no loss, small gain.

I'm also not a huge fan of the title. It's too obvious. Why not "Criss Cross", or simply "X"? You can lure in your readers simply that they have no idea what the poem is immediately about by your title. By calling it "Scars" the title does fit, but the mystery is gone. If you just have a trigger warning and a mysterious title, you may attract more readers. Be a tease. People love that $@*!.

Regards,
-M. L. Zane

P.S. Congratulations on your award. I can neither confirm nor deny a minor fit of jealousy. :)

[Rose Diamond]

Thank you for your review, though I'm quite happy with the way it is, so I think I'll just leave it. Also, I did put a trigger warning in the description, in case you didn't see it. :)

[M. L. Zane]

I did not, actually. Whoops. I blame the faint grey text against a white background.

[Ezekiel Silver]

A marvelous piece that inspires hope to depraved souls everywhere.

[Jade Mayhew]

As a past self-harmer, this poem spoke to me in a very personal way. I absolutely loved the "Criss Cross" and the rhyming pattern used in the verses. Each of my scars had "names" or reasoning behind them, and I can understand exactly how the subject is feeling. Thank you so much for submitting this into my contest and congratulations!

[Rose Diamond]

Thank you very much, I'm happy that you liked it, but I'm even happier that you said /past/ self-harmer!