I Am Diagnosed With Depression Forgotton CHILDHOOD LEFT TO BE ABUSED BY BOTH MY PARENTS.......

I Am Diagnosed With Depression Forgotton CHILDHOOD LEFT TO BE ABUSED BY BOTH MY PARENTS.......

A Story by ROSALIND
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depression

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When I was a child and that is a long time ago now, I never had affection.
I grew up with a mother who was mentally unstable and wasn't able to give me what I needed I lacked stability Love and care.
often she would abuse me physically and I cut myself off from reality.
and day dreamed a lot at school and it affected my school learning so i became
a dunce at the bottom of the class.
and I became an outcast and had no friends, the ones i did have made my life
hell .
life at school I came a target for bullies. I grew up feeling alone frightened and sacred. I ran away once and the police came to get me.
Once my mother hit me with a brush and took me to the doctor she said i split my head open on a coffee table. But it wasn't true she told the doctor LIES
HOW ON EARTH WAS I STILL ALLOWED TO LIVE WITH HER....
i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN AS i child ..
My Dads brother was a policeman he turned a blind eye and what makes it worse they were both Christians
I have never questioned them about it because they are getting on a bit ..
But that doesn't mean that it still hurts, Yes it hurts like crazy because they did nothing.. .
But I am glad children have more of a chance to be rescued by the authorities
At least most of them will not suffer the way I did......
I think that is why I suffer from long bouts of depression. .....
I struggle with my relationship with my husband.
And with God...
I try not to let it take control but all the flash backs would come rolling back in my mind ........
i just take my life from day to day.
At the moment I am being assessed by a Doctor but she thinks that this depression that i am suffers is related to my childhood...
I don't want to be on medication and feel doped up I just want to be free....within myself ....
I have wrote countless poems it was a journey that began last year 2011 April.....
and that has  been really good therapy and healing for me don't get me wrong I have changed a lot only by the grace of God.
and I am still finding out who I am and hope to be.
It is my dream to get my poetry and funny Mr Ketchup stories published one day AND i STRONGLY BELIEVE IT WILL HAPPEN.
i THANK GOD FOR MY LIFE NOW AND PRAY THAT i WILL BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS ......

© 2012 ROSALIND


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It's good that you shared this. Talking about these things always helps, I think. Your story sounds painfully familiar, as I, too, grew up in a dysfunctional home where there was far too little love. In fact, I only ever got one hug and one kiss from my mother during her entire life. Such things cripple a child and leave deep scars, but you know that. Stay strong, keep faith, and hopefully, things will get better.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on August 28, 2012
Last Updated on August 28, 2012

Author

ROSALIND
ROSALIND

EDINBURGH, lothian , United Kingdom



About
Hello my name is Rosalind and I first started writing poetry in April of 2011. I am a born again Christian and have a wonderful relationship with father God I would have never imagined for one second.. more..

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A Poem by ROSALIND