Loneliness

It would summarize a very short story about a young girl who seeks for understanding and compassion. And she never knew she ever did need love in her life.

Loneliness

I was in an occasion,

Making fake smiles for the association.

Gowns and sequins filled the ladies’ room,

Men in black looked like doom.

 

There was a guy who talked to me,

He’s handsome like they all see.

His smile made my heart ache,

He’ll just make my heart break.

 

Despite the glum mood,

I didn’t want to be rude.

Faking smiles at him,

Drinking lot of vodka till dim.

 

He walked with me to the subway.

We said our goodbyes that brought dismay.

I reached home sulking,

Hoping he wouldn’t be leaving.

 

Why would I even bother with love?

Avoid it and you’ll be a carefree dove.

But I can’t deny the fact that I’m lonely,

Because no one understands me.

Author's Note

I hope you like this one :) This is my very first writing here so be critical, please :) And I can take not so offensive commentaries. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Linear]

I enjoyed this poem, the lines were good it flowed well, and painted a perfect picture of a young woman trying hard to find herself, in a sea of loneliness

[Roselyn Crisostomo]

Thanks for all the comments guys, truly appreciate the reviews and the advices :)

[ClosingAccount]

I feel the same way about myself!!!

[Wednesday]

It's an excellent poem. I especially enjoyed the lines "Gowns and sequins filled the ladies' room, Men in black looked like doom".

[Auby Faith Evans]

its nice. but take out the last two lines. and yeah, it expressed well enough. :)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I've felt this way at times during my younger days~ a very relatable well written poem~ and did you craft it so that the poem is actually in the shape of a dress?~ it is truly eye catching~ very clever!~

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I would take out the last line. You made your point very strongly. Last line took poem to another direction. I like the description of the bar and the emotion of loneliness in the poem. Questions of love are answer with time together and a lot of good luck. A very good poem.
Coyote