Ignored

This is just a random poem that I came up with. I guess you could say it is how I feel everyday, except when this person is near.

I have nothing to do

Except spend all my time with you

The other half of me

The person who I wish to be

I wish to be free

I want to be the true me

The person who I truly am

Instead of the person buried in the sand

Nobody knows where I am, or who

Nobody, except you

 

I'm ignored by everyone

However, there is someone

Someone who I can talk

Someone who doesn't just look at me and walk

The person I can call a friend

The person who stays by my side until the very end.

Author's Note

I hope this poem is alright, I'm not that good at poetry.

Reviews

[Zombie Waffle]

Not many technical mistakes here, except the line that reads "Someone who I can talk".
As a sentence - and it doesn't seem to make up a part of a larger sentence - it makes no sense. Try "Someone I can talk to" or "Someone to whom I can talk".

And please, pleases, please try to use some punctuation.

[Rose]

I have tried to fit punctuation into my poems, but somehow I can't seem the find the right places where they shoud be placed. However, I will try my hardest to put in some punctuation next time.

[Rose]

*to find
*be put

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
I guess I have to ask, are you referring to an imaginary friend ? They do seem to be pretty reliable for me anyways. I never had one walk away from me yet. ;)

[Rose]

I've been talking about some real friends, but it could be classed as imaginary also.

[dw817]

Some of my best imaginary friends have been real friends to me, long ago perhaps. Today, there is the slight smile, the nod of the head, looking over your shoulder and a grin at what you see. That's how it is with me today.

[Rhianne Ney]

I'm ignored by everyone
However, there is someone
Someone who I can talk
Someone who doesn't just look at me and walk
The person I can call a friend
The person who stays by my side until the very end.

These, I believe were the strong key points of this poem (:

Anyways, there are true cases like this(I'm included!) wherein there's only one friend who truly understands you and knows your own purpose and your own quirks and accept you as you are ;D

Great job and keep writing

[Rose]

Thanks, I was trying to have them as the most important points and there is someone out there for everyone who feels that there is one specific person who they can talk with confidentially.

[Rhianne Ney]

That's right, those were the people that one can't probably let go

[Rose]

Yes, you are right.

[Rhianne Ney]

We actually agreed to each other, huh?

[Rose]

Yes.

[Rhianne Ney]

;D

[The dark story]

"The person who I truly am
Instead of the person buried in the sand
Nobody knows where I am, or who
Nobody, except you"..i liked these lines the most...this truly an awesome work by you..and yeah Aelia Darkshadow is right..you should not undrestimate yourself...you have done very well here...-and i it really touched me..the emotions are expressed very nicely...Very well done!!

[Rose]

Thank you.

[The dark story]

you are most welcome my freind!

[Jynx]

Dude, tell me again who said you were 'not that good at poetry' while I go punch them in the face for not having good taste

Also, very good poem ^~^

Much love,
Jynx

[Rose]

Thanks, and the person who said that I wasn't good at poetry was me. Lol. You know fine well how much I tend to doubt myself with my work.

[Jynx]

Ok so where you at so I can punch you in the face for having good taste?

[Rose]

I'm in the library at break XD You should know that by now :P

[Aelia Darkshadow]

Who in their right mind told you that you are not "good at poetry?" If you're not good at poetry, then I'm a piece of crap. You are completely and totally with every ounce of your being good at poetry. In fact, your great at poetry! So stop this- this negative thinking that you're not "good at poetry". Because you ARE! And that's just how awesome you are. This poem is amazing! I like the flow and the general idea. (Not that I like to know that there are lonely people in this world) I feel like I can really relate to this!

[Rose]

Thanks, and I get told by people everyday that I should stop being so negative about my work. I get negative about various things; my singing, my writing (poetry, or stories) and my drawing. I guess you could say it is a bit of a habit I have grown with over the years.

[Aelia Darkshadow]

Nonononono I refuse to believe you... Except for the singing part. Some people's singing is truly horrible! *cough, cough* MINE! So anyways. Yeah. If you find yourself telling yourself that you're not good at something, don't believe yourself. Okay?

[Rose]

Okay, but it's a big habit I have gotten into. XD

[Aelia Darkshadow]

Habits can be broken! Especially chewing nails, but I haven't gotten around to breaking that habit yet... :)

[Rose]

Lol, I will try my hardest to stop it.

[Aelia Darkshadow]

Good!

[Twilight_Starlight]

sounds lovely

[Rose]

Thanks sis.

[Fang]

this poem is really good, nice job

[Rose]

Thanks.

[Fang]

np

[RapidReviewer]

Unique and makes your feelings viewed... poetry is a powerful thing

[Rose]

Thanks.

[Eryn ♪]

This is very good, I like the unique structure of the poem too. Keep up the good work.

[Rose]

Thanks.