A Tortured Soul

I feel obliged to go over some of my old work and fix some errors.

previous piece untouched:

 A lonely path makes a lonely man

His mind his enemy his mind his only friend

His past follows him his future tuants him

 

His eyes are not biind like the rest of mankind

Aware of what was

Aware of what is

Aware of whats to come

 

A twisted mind thoughts running wild

His is not a fear the unknown

His is rather a fear of the known

 

Others tell him to stop being so pestimistic

And he wishes they knew how much he wishes he could be optimistic

If you see the future and it is not bright

And at the end of the tunnell there is no light

Then your life is like an endless night

 

The current revised edition:

A lonely path makes a lonely man

His mind his enemy his mind his only friend

His past follows him his future taunts him

His eyes are not blind like the rest of mankind

Aware of what was

Aware of what is

Aware of what’s to come

A twisted mind thoughts running wild

His is not a fear the unknown

His is rather a fear of the known

Others tell him to stop being so pessimistic

And he wishes they knew how much he wishes he could be optimistic

If you see the future and it is not bright

And at the end of the tunnel there is no light

Then your life is like an endless night

Reviews

[Parkeravenue2u]

Rosary, thank you. I can understand. This story reminds me of one of my travels in France. I decided to walk from one city to another on the island of Corsica during on a very hot day, up hill no less. without realizing how many kilometers it was I started on my journey in the morning after only eating a yogurt. I remember being stuck in my head. I remember having conversations with myself inside my head and wishing I could just stop talking. By the time I reached my destination, I could not formulate words with my mouth when I was trying to buy some cheese to refurbish my brain I couldn't speak in either my broken poor French or English. The woman at the register just looked at me like I had a mental disability.
What I hear in your writing is a man who see everything for what it really is in a world where everyone choses to be ostriches with their heads in the sand. I have empathy for this man trapped in continuous Hotel California. I wish for him to see that in a world of darkness, he could be the light. The tunnel is what he carved and what he created and the light at the end is him maybe guiding the way for others. ?

[Vatsayayana]

Very powerfully written.
I believe at one point or another we are all trapped there. In side our mind.
There are times we know the truth, we cannot help but have it embedded in our soul.
Yet there we are, trying to survive, and there all of those others around us. People who do not know.
It is our burden to hold, our burden to carry and yet we get attacked by others around us, when all we want is what all of humanity wants. Safety, comfort, the ability to belong.
Very poignant. It breaks one heart.
Brava!

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Well written.

[Forest Green]

Sounds as if you've defined him to your satisfaction. Looking for the positive in the confusion of personality conflicts.

Nice thoughts.

Daniel

[Timothy]

I really like this poem, not just because of what it shows about "The Man you Love" (I have no idea who that could be..... :P), but because it gives a glimpse of how all people who want to improve themselves feel at some time or another. They feel like they should be "optimistic" but everything in the future seems to point to despair and disappointment; and so it would seem by being optimistic they are really just being dishonest. When I have felt this way -- I have had to remind myself that optimism is not an act of reflecting the future at all, instead it's an act of changing it.