Dark night

A mother battles dark creatures to save her young daughter.

Thunder crashed, shaking the house roughly, waking me up. I was drenched in sweat, although the night was quite cold, the dream that had been haunting me the last few months was back. I was scared half to death. I sat up, shoving the dream to the back of my head, trying to think other, nicer thoughts. Crash! I jumped 6 feet, hearing the windows shake. Silliness!, its just wind, I told myself. I lay back down, trying to fall back to sleep. I began to imagine my lovely daughters smile, her laugh, sighing I slipped to sleep again. I watched Jane play, with her dolls, so sweetly, suddenly she jumped up, looking toward me, her wide smile disappeared and in its place took plain horror, and suddenly she was gone… 

I sat bolt upright, heart pounding, I cursed myself silently; this was stupid; why did this dream keep returning? I knew I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, I stood up, I needed reassurance. I walked to Jane’s room, quietly creeping through the house, she was a very light sleeper. I came to her door, closed, strange I was sure I had left it open. Shivering as wind blew through the house, I carefully opened the door, I peered into Jane’s room. Her bed was empty, I laughed nervously, she must have woken up and was play hiding, just like her especially, during these winter thunderstorms. 

“Janey, come out, come out, where ever you are,” I called, waiting, but no reply came, not even the little giggle that usually gives her away. 

“Jane, come out now please, stop scaring your poor mother”, no reply. 

I was scared, this wasn’t like Jane, she usually gave herself away somehow. I ran to the bed tearing off all the covers and sheets. I searched her cupboard, empty. 

“Jane! JANE! COME OUT THIS INSTANT!” I yelled, sure this was just her way of playing, yes, I was sure... I couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t believe it, she was not gone. No, she was here, somewhere, just playing hide and seek, yes, that was what it was. 

I shivered again as wind blew through Jane’s open window. Open! Why would it be open? I ran across the room, I throwing myself half out I called and scanned the darkness for her, nope, no answer, no sign. Closing the window, i left her room and began searching the entire house, she wasn’t here, she had left. No… NO! This was my worst nightmare, happening all over again, no. I ran outside, calling for her. I began to hyperventilate, I felt dizzy, she couldn’t have gone, Jane was all I had, since her father disappeared, I needed her and she needed me. She was the centre of my life. 

A streak of blonde hair caught me eye in the distance. Long blonde hair on a tiny, pale body. It was her, relief spread through me, she was here. I looked in the direction she was running her, the castle; she was headed straight for that dark, bone-chilling castle! 

“JANE! JANE! STOP! Come back home now! Please” I screamed as loud as I could. She didn’t even turn back. Why? Why would she want go there? Hadn’t I told her that she was not to go? I had to get her, bring her safely home. I started running as fast as I could, still calling out to my Jane. My bare feet hit the road being cut painfully with each step, but I was not going to stop. 

My breath came in short sharp gasps, stabbing my chest with each one, I kept calling out, but not once did she falter on her way to the huge, oak front doors. I kept running. What was going on? She had never done this before, she didn’t sleep walk, she had to be doing this of her own accord, what was she thinking! I took my eyes off the ground, just in time to see Jane open the doors, 

“JANE! NO! DON’T….” 

Too late, she was through. The doors fell closed behind her, blocking her from me. No, no, no! I cried out in pain when I hitting the ground grazing both my knees, but I quickly got up again and kept running. I had to get to her. That castle was not a good place for her to be, she was going to get hurt, oh I just knew it. I couldn’t let it happen. I had to help her. I had to save her. I kept running. It felt like forever but I finally reached the doors, I stooped, trying to slow my gasps, my lungs craved air, stabbing pains shot through my chest like knives, slash after slash pierced though me. I couldn’t go into the castle in this state, if anything was in there it would hear me in an instant. 

Once I was quiet enough I slowly opened one of the doors, praying that it did not squeak, thankfully, although very curiously, they did not, the hinges were as quiet as any well oiled door. Very odd, the only reason I could think of was that this place must be cared for, the thought scared me, very much, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it, I had to keep moving.

 

I slipped through the door as quietly as my body and the creaky floor boards would allow. It was very dark inside, the thick brick walls did not let any of the full moons bright light through, the effect was a dark, dank, haunting feeling. The only light source in sight was a tiny flickering lantern that hung from the wall, guiding me through the entrance hall. I looked around the room, trying to spot some movement or sound or any sign at all that could be my daughter, but I could see nothing but the dull shadows cast by the lantern. I started walking down a hallway straight ahead of the door, peering into the rooms as I passed by them, hoping that Jane might be hiding in one of them. I saw nothing.  

I came to a large room with a throne like seat at one end and enough room for a gathering of many people. I sensed someone or something in the room with me, I was not alone, I couldn’t move, I just stood there trying to seem as invisible as possible, I examined the room, trying to see who was there. I was beginning to relax; I couldn’t see or hear anything. I took a step forward when something brushed past my leg; I jumped up, stopping myself from screaming just in time. I looked down, scared, it was just a cat, a black cat, I shivered with superstition; I didn’t exactly believe in nightmares and supernatural things, but I couldn’t help but feel some apprehension to the creature in this place. The cat sprinted off; I concentrated on breathing and regained my composure to the extent that I was able and listened to the dead quiet of the night. The only sound I could hear was the thunderstorm crashing outside. I searched for some sign of life in this desolate place, but the only thing I saw was a dull light coming from a room in a hallway to my right, I walked closer, listening carefully all the while. When I reached halfway across the huge room I heard something so soft I barely recognized it.

 I stopped dead in my tracks listening harder, voices! I heard voices! Creepy, old, feathery voices, and they sounded like they were coming from the room ahead. I walked as fast as I dared, trying to be quiet. 

Once I reached the room I peered through the tiny crack, a bunch of people, men and women alike were standing around a large metal table, though what they were interested in was hidden from my sight. The people, if you can even call them that, looked odd, they were pale, extremely pale, some had eyes that were a dull red, with tinges of black around the pupil, but others had eyes as black as coals that burned with hunger. They all wore long black robes. I was curious as to what they were, obviously not human, but not anything I had ever seen before. 

I moved to the side trying to see what they were staring at so intensely. 

I froze, I had just stepped on a creak in the floorboard. Thunder crashed outside. Thank god they didn’t hear me. I shuffled around, but no matter where I looked they were shielding the table from my view. I don’t know why I stood there when looking for Jane was must more important than staying here watching the creatures. I would not believe nor even consider the thought that it was Jane on the table surrounded by all those unnatural people. For long moments the creatures did not say anything or move the slightest to reveal the table. But then I heard a sound that made my heart thump, a whimper, the tiny whimper of a child who was extremely frightened. 

“Shush!” The black eyed female told the child harshly, “Enough of this, I’m thirsty and sick of waiting.” She complained. 

My head was screaming, it was Jane, in the midst of all the monsters, I was sure of it. I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t let her be harmed, she couldn’t be taken from me, she was all I had left… 

“Be patient Alissa, you know why we have to wait; I am just as thirsty as you are, if not more. He will be here soon” Said one with his back to me, chastising this Alissa person. 

Something was going to happen to Jane, and soon it seemed if I did nothing to stop it. I gathered up all the courage I could muster and walked toward the door. I was going to present myself in front of these creatures and do whatever possible to help Jane get away, she had to escape, even if I didn’t. I reached out to grab the handle, but before I could something grabbed me from behind, I breathed in deeply, ready to scream, but my capturer put his hand over my mouth and whispered in my ear, “don’t struggle, I won’t hurt you.” 

I fell limp in his arms, I wasn’t going to be able to get away, not held in his grip like this. I let him drag me away from the door and my daughter. He seemed to have come far enough so he stopped and let me go. I tensed myself planning on running back, but the man was to fast for me, he grabbed me by the waist realizing my plan. He sat me down and kept a hold of one of my wrists. 

“What do you want?” I demanded refusing to be held back when Jane was in danger. 

He didn’t say anything, but neither did I. It was to dark to see his face but something about him seemed familiar. 

Sick of waiting for his reply I said “Well,” quite loudly.

“Shush… Not so loud, they might hear you.” 

I looked around the room, nothing in sight. 

Lowering my voice I whispered. “Why are you keeping me here, what do you want from me” 

Unconsciously I was leaning toward him, trying to see his face properly, but he was leaning away from me I hadn’t the slightest clue why. Then without a word, he grabbed the nearest torch and held it up near his face, the light lit up all his features. I gasped… stunned 

“I’m trying to rescue my daughter, just like you are…” He said quietly. 

“William! No! No! What are you doing here! You left! You left us both! You shouldn’t be... I believed you were…” 

Before I could accuse him of the treachery he caused, he placed his peculiarly cold hand over my mouth, telling me to shush again. 

“Be quiet! I’ll explain everything later, just trust me.” 

He slowly took his hand away and waited to see if I would talk, I didn’t. Saving Jane was more important than learning to truth right now. I glared at him though, I was looking at the man whom I had loved, had a daughter with and then whom had left me, saying nothing, just disappearing one dreadful night, I had believed he was dead for a number of years now. It was dizzying, I felt like I was seeing a ghost. I just stared at his face realizing that I’d never truely gotten over him. 

He smiled at me, taking my hand and pulling me up. We slowly and carefully made our way back to the room they were in, I had no clue what the plan was, but I trusted him. I looked over and saw his face pinched in concentration, planning, I assumed. I peered through the crack, there was another person there, his back was toward me. I froze; this could be the thing they were waiting for, this man! No! We needed more time, William needed more time. The man looked like he was about to pounce on Jane, he was leaning over her, I saw that her little legs and arms were strapped down, she was squirming like mad, I couldn’t cope with this, it was to much. I ducked down. 

“Another person is there, and Jane is tied down, she looks so scared,” I said, 

I wrapped my arms around myself, rocking back and forth on my heels.

 “Hmm… ok… I don’t know what to do, I can’t take on all of them, impossible, nor can we out run them…” He seemed to be muttering to himself. 

I continued rocking, he’d better make up his mind soon. 

“Aahhhhhh!!!!!” 

A blood curling scream eminated through the castle, I jumped into action, Jane was in pain, I had to do something right now. 

I barged my way through the door and all the people or whatever they were looked at me. I recoiled, the elder male had blood streaming down his mouth, my gaze flickered down to Jane in horror, she had blood on her neck, the creature had bitten her neck! Like a vampire. 

Vampires, the moment I realized what they were I knew it was true and knew that I could not out run them, hide from them or fight them, I new something dreadful was going to happen to me, and Jane if I could not save her in time. In that moment my life took the back seat, it was the end of mine, but there was no way that I was going to let them take Jane as well. 

“Come and get me, come on, I dare you” I said in the bravest voice I could produce, all of their eyes were on me, looking eagerly at my neck. 

“Bad mistake, following this little one, it’s too late for her, you should have saved your life while you had the chance, but now… You die as well.” The leader said, his voice was so ancient, dominant, but also so feeble, like it had been around for all of time, seen the misery that placed a cold dark hand over the world. For a fleeting moment I felt awfully sorry for these creatures, the feeling passed quickly as I thought of Jane. 

“Tell you what since I’m feeling merciful and I feasted on your precious little daughter here, I think I will give you a head start, run while you can, human, we won’t be far behind.” 

At that, I ran, I would not have a chance if I stayed here, but I couldn't get to Jane while they stood around her. I grabbed Williams hand as I passed the door, he was staring in pure terror; he must truly still care about us. He pulled me up onto his back without missing a step, 

“I’m faster than you are” He answered my un-voiced question. “What were you thinking back there?” William growled, 

I pulled back slightly, a little scared of him, 

“I… I didn’t think, I just acted, they were going to kill her, and I couldn’t let them do that. You were taking to long to come up with a plan, they would have drained her dry before you thought of anything” A shiver of agony went down my spine at that thought. 

“I would not have let that happen. I will make sure she survives, and you too’ He promised, I huffed, doubtful. He stopped, placing me down lightly, “Listen, we have to split up, I will try to lead them away from you, so you can go and save Jane, but you have to be quick and you cannot come back for me,” He told me, 

“No, no, no, I just got you back, I can’t leave you to die, not now,” I whimpered, this was such a cruel twist of fate. 

William looked into my eyes, “You have to, I have a chance, I must admit it, it’s slight, but I just might survive, but unless you get to her, Jane will not, save yourselves, and don’t worry about me” I clung to him desperately never wanting to let go, he clung back just as tightly. 

“They’re all following us, you can get to Jane, it seems that they all want you, not her,” He chuckled darkly to himself. 

“How will you make them follow you and not me?” I asked,

“I’m gonna need your dressing gown,” He said. 

I had no idea why he would but I slipped my arms out and handed the gown to him, then he did something unexpected, he drew the fabric up to his face and sniffed it, he seemed to see the look on my face, 

“It should do,” He said, partly answering the question. “well get going,” He said turning me in the direction I was to take, after quickly explaining where I was supposed to go, I took off running as fast as I could. 

After many twists and turns down dark corridors, I had to stop for a breath; I listened carefully, but couldn’t hear much, no foot steps behind me. I stood up, my muscles complaining about the anguish I was putting them through. I ignored them, running the direction William told me to go. I ran and ran, turned, I fell lots because I couldn’t see the ground in the fleeting light. 

I finally saw a little light ahead of me and then I heard a low moaning, she was still alive! Elated that she was alive and all the more desperate to get to her, my paced picked up, I would have never been able to run this fast if my life had depended on it, but it wasn’t my life that did, it was Jane’s.

I ran straight into the room where she was strapped to the table, without even looking to see if any of the evil vampire creatures had came back for Jane. I ran to the table furiously undoing the straps. 

Jane began mumbling something unintelligible, I caressed her face, sweeping the sweat drenched hair out of her eyes. I looked down at her neck where I saw the creature had bit her. Gasping, I staggered back, the sight was ghastly, covered in blood were two little tooth marks, with an astounding amount blood flowing freely from them. It scared me, Jane was losing way to much blood. 

I tore a strip of cloth from my pants and pressed it to her neck, keeping it held there trying to stem the blood flow. Jane turned her head toward me, pressing her cheek onto my hand, it was too cold. 

“Jane, could you please hold this right here,” I drew her hand up to her wound and hoped she was awake enough to hear me and keep it there. 

She held it, that was good. I picked her up and walked as fast and as quietly as I could, while making soothing sounds to Jane. 

It seemed like forever till I came to the entrance room, the oak doors were standing there, emanating a sense of freedom from them, I walked toward them. I was in reaching distance when a huge figure stepped out from the shadows, chuckling horribly. “I told you that you wouldn’t get away, even after that rogue vampire, William…’ 

No! I though, not willing to believe him.

‘Ah, I see you didn’t know he was one of us, did you? A disappointment as vampires go… wasn’t much of a waste getting rid of him… yes… as I was saying even after William tried to distract us so you could get out, we still got to you, I always get what I want, see, and everybody that stands in my way, well they never see the light of day again…” His smile was pure evil.

I cried out in grief, not William, not now… I shook with terror… I was not going to be saved by William, and I did not want to die now, not this close to freedom, to safety… I clutched Jane tighter to my chest, tears dripping onto her pale form, not her too, not her, oh please, not her. I stared at her oh so beautiful face and placed her on the ground a good distance away from me. If this ‘vampire’ was going to try and kill me, I wasn’t going down without a fight. 

“Don’t try and fight me, you will never win, it will just cause you more pain if you do.” He said in such a calm voice, it aggravated me more, how could he be so calm about killing a little girl? 

“Shut up!” I spat. 

The vampire lowered himself into a crouch, preparing to strike. I turned to Jane, hoping that she was still conscious enough to hear me, I whispered, “Run, run as fast and as far as you can.”

I moved further from her and tensed, waiting for the pain. My head was yelling at me to run, as far away as I could, but I knew I could never out run him, better to die saving my daughter than to die a coward. 

The vampires posture shifted ever so slightly, and I knew that was it. 

In an instant I was flying across the room, smacking with tremendous force into the wall. All the breath was knocked out of me, and the pain was so great I was sure a couple of ribs had broken. 

I struggled to get into a better position but I wasn’t fast enough; I saw the vampire jump up and prepare to leap on me, I recoiled into the wall and clasped my eyes shut, waiting for more pain; but it never came. 

I heard a crash, like walls being bashed together, my eyes sprung open, and my heart fluttered, it was William, he was alive, and saving me; well trying to. At that moment the other vampire had the upper hand. He had William pinned against the wall, but so fast that I barely noticed, William twisted out of his hold and suddenly had the other vampire pinned. I couldn’t keep track of the fight much longer, the pain was increasing, and my back throbbed, it took all of my strength to stay conscious. 

I slowly made my way over to Jane, she hadn’t run, she lay slumped on the floor, unconscious. I lay with her, trying to keep track of the fight, but I reality kept slipping in and out focus. Barely conscious I saw the older vampire slip, William took advantage, baring his teeth, he sunk his fangs into vampire’s neck, then ripped. 

It was a horrible sound, the sound of a head being ripped off, squelchy, sort of. The head fell to the floor and rolled away, landing near my feet.

I stared in horror, unable to tear my eyes away from it. The dismemberment had somehow made me feel dirty, and like a piece of me had been ripped away as well, all I could think of was the sound of skin ripping. I knew it was going to haunt me forever, that horrific sound. 

I felt fingers lift my face up gently, thankful that they were tearing my eyes from the head. 

I looked up and saw William looking at me with concern. 

“I will be fine” I reassured him. He looked at me skeptically, so I smiled, hoping I convinced him. 

I looked over at Jane; she was still unconscious, thankfully. I was glad she didn’t witness what I just saw. 

I stood up slowly, painfully, and with Williams help, I scooped Jane in to my arms. Together we walked toward the giant oak doors, then, without a backwards glance, we stepped, holding onto each other tightly, out in to the cold dawn air... 

We were free, safe and alive…

Reviews

[Christina]

Really nice piece. It's explosive from the beginning. I love stories that start with action and keep that pace moving all the way through. It was fun to read. I agree with some of the other reviewers in that the paragraphs should be broken up. It's difficult to read when their bunched; not only that it makes reader more likely to skim instead of take in every detail of the paragraphs.

[nibhz]

awesome thriller! vampire stories my personal fav! loved it!

[The Butterfly Writer]

Definitely grabs the reader's attention emotionally. Overall, an entertaining read. The "big" paragraphs that are a bunch of small ones could have spaces between them to make it an easier read. Enjoyed it very much. It's a good piece for someone who's just getting back into writing, after, how long?

[Rose Fire]

Thanks! Ah, it has been about 4 years I think.

[The Butterfly Writer]

Well, good for you then! You're off to a good start.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Good read very intense. Maybe break up the paragraphs more? But well done!

[emilyfulken]

this story was absolutely amazing. excellent emotional hook from the beginning. excellent characterization. excellent plot twist. was hooked from the beginning to the end! no errors. easy to read. definitely would recommend your story to everyone to read. as a reader i could feel every emotion the mother was going through. so realistic. such believable haracters and plot. overall excellent read!!