My Little Music Box

Being twirled to the point of dizziness

Being forced to hum my little tune

Weighed down with the secrets

All I was asked to hold

 

Over flowing with slips of paper

On every paper is a little thought

I could hold no longer

Placed it out of sight

 

Playing the once cheery melody

Now holds so many secrets it is

Weighed down with melancholy

Singing what it cannot say

 

My secrets are placed away in a little box

Whenever it is opened it sings out its sorrow

But I have set them all aside in

My little music box

Author's Note

Thoughts? Published in a literary magazine (as an amateur of course) called Show-Me Doctrine...

Reviews

[Cecilia Marie]

Well written and enjoyable to read.

[Blue Belle]

It is so sweet!

[Akashi]

Good job.

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but it seems a little bland - I would have liked to have seen you expound more on what exactly those secrets are, and to tie this into something more emotional and powerful, but as it stands it's just a little unfocused, it seems. A good first effort, but I think you could expand in places.

["Fanatical Dreamer"]

Nice,keep writing

[Harley Rose]

thank you

[Darkening Shadow]

I like how you change the view of the speaker. Great Poem!

[Harley Rose]

Thank you

[AWickedMoon]

Woah, I could feel the words going in circles well reading this one. Its was a nice poem, keep sending them my way. :)

[Harley Rose]

Thank you!

[Satan's Daughter]

I enjoyed it. A few of the lines are choppy, though. I would move that last few words on some of them to the next line. I know it would make the lines different lengths, and that bothers your OCDness, but think about it. Good job.

[Harley Rose]

Thank you

[Wingless Fallen Angel]

You might think about saying "But I have set them all aside inside," Just a thought. :)

[Harley Rose]

Thanks for the review

[Wingless Fallen Angel]

You are GRANDLY welcome.

[Holly Mason]

like this very much
music boxes are special
thank you for sharing

[Harley Rose]

Thank you!